"The whole matter nearly Fell through at that moment, But then Klímka Lávin said, 'Let _me_ be Elder, I'll please you on both sides, The master and you. The Lord will soon take him, 370 And then the fine hayfields Will come to the commune. I swear I'll establish Such order amongst you You'll die of the fun!'
"The commune took long To consider this offer: A desperate fellow Is Klímka the peasant, A drunkard, a rover, 380 And not very honest, No lover of work, And acquainted with gipsies; A vagabond, knowing A lot about horses. A scoffer at those Who work hard, he will tell you: 'At work you will never Get rich, my fine fellow; You'll never get rich,-- 390 But you're sure to get crippled!' But he, all the same, Is well up in his letters; Has been to St. Petersburg. Yes, and to Moscow, And once to Siberia, too, With the merchants. A pity it was That he ever returned! He's clever enough, 400 But he can't keep a farthing; He's sharp--but he's always In some kind of trouble. He's picked some fine words up From out of his travels: 'Our Fatherland dear,' And 'The soul of great Russia,' And 'Moscow, the mighty, Illustrious city!' 'And I,' he will shout, 410 'Am a plain Russian peasant!' And striking his forehead He'll swallow the vodka. A bottle at once He'll consume, like a mouthful. He'll fall at your feet For a bottle of vodka. But if he has money He'll share with you, freely; The first man he meets 420 May partake of his drink. He's clever at shouting And cheating and fooling, At showing the best side Of goods which are rotten, At boasting and lying; And when he is caught He'll slip out through a cranny, And throw you a jest, Or his favourite saying: 430 'A crack in the jaw Will your honesty bring you!'
"Well, after much thinking The commune decided That I must remain The responsible Elder; But Klímka might act In my stead to the Barin As though he were Elder. Why, then, let him do it! 440 The right kind of Elder He is for his Barin, They make a fine pair! Like putty his conscience; Like Meenin's[41] his beard, So that looking upon him You'd think a sedater, More dutiful peasant Could never be found. The heirs made his kaftan, 450 And he put it on, And from Klímka the 'scapegrace' He suddenly changed Into Klím, Son-of-Jacob,[42] Most worthy of Elders. So that's how it is;-- And to our great misfortune The Barin is ordered A carriage-drive daily. Each day through the village 460 He drives in a carriage That's built upon springs. Then up you jump, quickly, And whip off your hat, And, God knows for what reason, He'll jump down your throat, He'll upbraid and abuse you; But you must keep silent. He watches a peasant At work in the fields, 470 And he swears we are lazy And lie-abed sluggards (Though never worked peasant With half such a will In the time of the Barin). He has not a notion That they are not _his_ fields, But ours. When we gather We laugh, for each peasant Has something to tell 480 Of the crazy Pomyéshchick; His ears burn, I warrant, When we come together! And Klím, Son-of-Jacob, Will run, with the manner Of bearing the commune Some news of importance (The pig has got proud Since he's taken to scratching His sides on the steps 490 Of the nobleman's manor). He runs and he shouts: 'A command to the commune! I told the Pomyèshchick That Widow Teréntevna's Cottage had fallen. And that she is begging Her bread. He commands you To marry the widow To Gabriel Jóckoff; 500 To rebuild the cottage, And let them reside there And multiply freely.'