M^{ rs} Allen & the Miss Chews drank Tea with me & spent the even'g. There was half a dozen agreable & sensible men that was of the party. The conversation was carried on in the most sprightly, agreable manner, the Ladies bearing by far the greatest part--till nine when cards was proposed, & about ten, refreshments were introduced which concluded the Evening.
Obviously, young men and women enjoyed the sociability of teatime, for it provided an ideal occasion to get acquainted. When the Marquis de Chastellux was in Philadelphia during the 1780's he went one afternoon to "take tea with Madam Shippen," and found musical entertainment to meet with his approval and a relationship between the sexes which had parental sanction. One young miss played on the clavichord, and "Miss Shippen sang with timidity but a very pretty voice," accompanied for a time by Monsieur Otto on the harp. Dancing followed, noted the Marquis, "while mothers and other grave personages conversed in another room."[22] In New York as in Philadelphia teatime was an important part of the younger set's social schedule. Eliza Bowne, writing to her sister in January 1810, reported that "as to news--New York is not so gay as last Winter, few balls but a great many tea-parties."[23] The feminine interest and participation in such gatherings of personable young men and attractive young women was expressed by Nancy Shippen[24] when she wrote in her journal after such a party:
"Saturday night at 11 o'clock. I had a very large company at Tea this Evening. The company is but just broke up, I dont know when I spent a more merry Even^g. We had music, Cards, &c &c."
A masculine view of American tea parties was openly voiced by one foreign visitor, Prince de Broglie, who, upon arrival in America in 1782, "only knew a few words of English, but knew better how to drink excellent tea with even better cream, how to tell a lady she was pretty, and a gentleman he was sensible, by reason whereof I possessed all the elements of social success."[25] Similar feelings were expressed by the Comte de Ségur during his sojourn in America in the late 18th century when, in a letter to his wife in France, he wrote: "My health continues excellent, despite the quantity of tea one must drink with the ladies out of gallantry, and of madeira all day long with the men out of politeness."[26]