Some temptations come to the industrious, but all temptations attack the idle.--_Spurgeon_.
A girl looked calmly at a caller one evening and remarked:
"As it is leap year," she continued, "and you've been calling regularly now four nights a week for a long, long time, George, I propose--"
"I'm not in a position to marry on my salary Grace" George interrupted hurriedly.
"I know that, George," the girl pursued, "and so, as it is leap year, I thought I'd propose that you lay off and give some of the more eligible fellows a chance."--_L.F. Clarke_.
Thomas B. Reed was one of the Legislative Committee sent to inspect an insane asylum. There was a dance on the night the committee spent in the investigation, and Mr. Reed took for a partner one of the fair unfortunates to whom he was introduced.
"I don't remember having seen you here before," said she; "how long have you been in the asylum?"
"Oh, I only came down yesterday," said the gentleman, "as one of the Legislative Committee."
"Of course," returned the lady; "how stupid I am! However, I knew you were an inmate or a member of the Legislature the moment I looked at you. But how was I to know? It is so difficult to know which."
1. The man whom others can't believe. He is harmless. Let him alone.
2. The man who can't believe others. He has probably made a careful study of human nature. If you don't put him in jail, he will find out that you are a hypocrite.
3. The man who can't believe himself. He is a cautious individual. Encourage him.
Two Irishmen were working on the roof of a building one day when one made a misstep and fell to the ground. The other leaned over and called:
"Sure you're such a liar Oi don't know whether to belave yez or not."
"Well, then, Oi must be dead," said Mike, "for yez would never dare to call me a liar if Oi wor aloive."
FATHER (reprovingly)--"Do you know what happens to liars when they die?"
A private, anxious to secure leave of absence, sought his captain with a most convincing tale about a sick wife breaking her heart for his absence. The officer, familiar with the soldier's ways, replied:
"I am afraid you are not telling the truth. I have just received a letter from your wife urging me not to let you come home because you get drunk, break the furniture, and mistreat her shamefully."