He was no gentleman. He might at least have said, "One, two, three--Go!"
[Speaking at the annual meeting of the governing body of Swanley Horticultural College, Sir JOHN COCKBURN lamented that while that institution provided healthful and delightful occupation, for which women were eminently fitted, it suffered from a continuous epidemic of matrimony, not only among the students but even upon the staff.]
AT Swanley College down in Kent The students' time is not misspent. Some of the arts at any rate Thrive in this Eden up-to-date; And doubtless each girl-gard'ner tries To win the term's Top-dressing Prize, Or trains her sense of paradox (While gathering "nuts" and "plums" and stocks) By taking Flora's new degree-- "Spinster of Hearts and Husbandry."
"First he must learn to be a sailor.... Stepping in a small coasting craft, he put his shoulder to the wheel, determining, as many a boy has done before and since, to get to the top of the tree by plodding and perseverance."
We don't recommend this as a beginning, however. Very often the captain, who wants to steer himself, resents an additional shoulder at the wheel--and invites you to the top of the masthead.
[Illustration: MORE BRAINY IDEAS OF OUR DRAPERS.
CUSTOMER BEING CONDUCTED TO THE SPRING MILLINERY DEPARTMENT.]
Lord Gumthorpe. Lady Gastwyck. Angela Thynne. Stud, _a butler_.
[_Author to Printer._--Oblige me by reversing your usual practice, and printing the text in italics and the stage directions in roman type. My request will, I hope, prove intelligible.]
_Scene._--The drawing-room at _Lady Gastwyck's_. A large, low room with a mullioned window at the back through which moonlight steals. The decoration of the room is Adams', though of rather a self-conscious type, as the plan and construction of the house is obviously of an earlier period. The furniture is Chinese Chippendale.
_Lord Gumthorpe_ is leaning against the window; _Angela Thynne_ is leaning against the Chesterfield, and _Lady Gastwyck_ is leaning against the Adams' fireplace. _Lord Gumthorpe_ is a tall, gaunt man, slightly resembling the portrait of PHILIP IV. of Spain, by VELASQUEZ. He turns towards _Lady Gastwyck_ and waves his long arms with a gesture of indecision. He then turns back and looks out on to the lawn. _Angela Thynne_, is a large, ill-proportioned woman, with curiously limpid blue eyes, and a shrill hard voice like a fog-siren, that does not seem to belong to her personality. One is always haunted with the idea that she might be Scotch. _Lady Gastwyck_ rises. She is a short dark woman with deep-set eyes and one very remarkable characteristic. She has apparently only one eyebrow. She really has two, but they meet together in one dark straight line, and give her a forbidding aspect. She has a habit of walking with her chin thrust forward and her long arms curved like a boxer's. She advances upon _Lord Gumthorpe_. He instinctively puts up his hands as though expecting to be struck.