"But sure'n ye haven't no twinty-noine thousand dollars to give thim, me frind?" the neighbor interposed.
"No more has th' other noineteen widdies, Mrs. McGlaggerty--so ye see there's no danger av anny av iz losin' mooch, an' ow, wow, but won't payple think that we're gin'rous. Id's a byootiful bloof Oi'll be afther givin' thim, Mrs. McGlaggerty--nawthin', acushla, but a byootiful bloof."
"Were you ever engaged in a train robbery?" asked the prosecuting attorney, looking at him keenly.
"I was never indicted for train robbing," answered the witness, evasively.
"That is not the question," said the lawyer. "I will ask you again. Were you ever a train robber?"
"Judge," said the witness, turning imploringly to the dignitary of the Bench, "must I answer that question?"
"You must," answered the judge. "And remember you are under oath."
The witness turned pale and his knees knocked together.
"I suppose it's got to come out. I sold books and bananas on the cars for a whole year when I was a young fellow," faltered the miserable man.
"The greatest point," writes a specialist in the treatment of obesity, "is to find the right diet." But the greatest point in these cases, after all, is the embonpoint.
While there is a great variety of conditions submitted with the handsome donations made to aid the fair, it is noticeable that there is entire unanimity in one thing--the "if."
A gang of men were at work on a city street, when a slight, beardless youth laid down his pick, and approaching the foreman, said to him:
"A fit--I feel one coming on," replied the young man, without emotion.
So the young man walked over to a bit of grass under a leafy tree--it was a new street in the suburbs--and had a fit.
Then he went and washed his face, came back to his place in the line, took up his pick and struck into work. After the day's work was over the young man said to the foreman: "You don't mind my having fits?"
"No--I guess not if you do a fair day's work."
"Well, you see I used to work for a butcher an' he wouldn't let me take fits--said it interfered with business--an' I thought you might feel the same way about it."
And the young man works hard with pick and shovel and takes a fit once in a while as you or I might take a drink of water.