Genral Robert Ingersol, seein the destruckshun of Robesons forces, determined to advanse slowly, he had jest scaled the back of my barrycade, and was preparin for a rush, wen his eyes cot site of the title of the book. He immejiately sounded the retreet. Biblical Reasons Why was too much for him, and he did not feel like crossin the kasm, and exposin his men to more numerus and hotter perrils.
A counsil of war was then held, and it was decided to get the forces all together, and make one determined effort, to capture my fortress from the see. A half burnt mach was obtained, and a company of soldjers embarked upon it. The ma-sheenary of the transport must of giv out, cos the bote became unmanageable, and its livin freight, seein there hopeless condish-un, joined in singin', “We're goin down to Glory.”
By this time, the sun streemin thru the cracks of the curtin, warned the survivors of the approch of day, and a genral recall was sounded, and the entire force retreeted to there impenetrabel fortresses in the cracks of the bedsted, leavin me completely master of the situashun.
Now, Mr. Diry, can you wunder at my feelin sum wot tired after such a xperiense, and a tedjus ride down from Troy? Prap's you may consider me a liar. If you do, you are mistakin, cos every wurd I have rittin in you to nite is the solium truth, without “any prevaricashun, eggsagerashun, or magnifycashun, and besides that, every-bodie wot knoes me, sinse I packed away my petty cotes, will tell you, I'm a littel Georgie Washinton.
HE REPORTS A DRY GOODS OPENIN.--A XPENSIV KOSTUM WOT FINDS ITS WAY TO THE STABLISHMENT OF A JURNULISTICK MILLYUN-HAIR.-- FEMMERNINE FEMMERNINITY'S, WITH MICE AS APPENDAGES.--THE NEET THING IN A HAT.
To-day was the grand openin of fall and winter stiles at all the big Dry Goods and Millernery stores. Clara Bell, wot does up that bisness for the _Buster_ had gone and got completely brok up on a 50 dollar bonnet, wot she sed was the cutest little thing she ever seen, so she had to go rite up to Hackensaw, and see if she couldnt squeeze the munny outer her old bachler unkel, wot dotes on her. Mr. Gilley wuld of discharged her ony he'd forgot to pay her sellary up in full for the last six months, so he had to make the best of it, and send me out ter report it in her place.