“After all, am I really capable of living?” he asked himself, in despair.
In the large corridor of the hospice there was an odour of samovars, and bread, and incense. A strong, active monk was hurrying along, carrying a huge tea-urn.
“Father,” exclaimed Yourii, confused somewhat at addressing him thus, and imagining that the monk would be equally embarrassed.
“What is it, pray?” asked the other politely, through clouds of steam from the samovar.
“Is there not a party of visitors here, from the town?”
“Yes, in number seven,” replied the monk promptly, as if he had anticipated such a question. “This way, please, on the balcony.”
Yourii opened the door. The spacious room was darkened by dense clouds of tobacco-smoke. Near the balcony there was more light, and one could hear the jingling of bottles and glasses above the noisy talk and laughter.
“Life is an incurable malady.” It was Schafroff who spoke.
“And you are an incurable fool!” shouted Ivanoff, in reply, “Can’t you stop your eternal phrase-making?”
On entering, Yourii received a boisterous welcome. Schafroff jumped up, nearly dragging the cloth off the table as he seized Yourii’s hand, and murmured effusively:
“How awfully good of you to come! I am so glad! Really, it’s most kind of you! Thank you ever so much!”
Yourii as he took a seat between Sanine and Peter Ilitsch, proceeded to look about him. The balcony was brightly lighted by two lamps and a lantern, and outside this circle of light there seemed to be a black, impenetrable wall. Yet Yourii could still perceive the greenish lights in the sky, the silhouette of the mountain, the tops of the nearest trees, and, far below, the glimmering surface of the river. From the wood moths and chafers flew to the lamp, and, fluttering round it, fell on to the table, slowly dying there a fiery death. Yourii, as he pitied their fate, thought to himself:
“We, too, like insects, rush to the flame, and flutter round every luminous idea only to perish miserably at the last. We imagine that the idea is the expression of the world’s will, whereas it is nothing but the consuming fire within our brain.”
“Now then, drink up!” said Sanine, as in friendly fashion he passed the bottle to Yourii.