"Sure Dennis O’Rourke was afther comin’ home wan night, it was only a boy I was, but I mind him tellin’ the shtory, an’ it was at a fair in Galway he’d been. He’d been havin’ a sup, some says more, but whin he come to the rath, and jist beyant where the fairies dance and ferninst the wall where the polisman was shot last winther, he fell in the ditch, quite spint and tired complately. It wasn’t the length as much as the wideness av the road was in it, fur he was goin’ from wan side to the other an’ it was too much fur him entirely. So he laid shtill fur a bit and thin thried fur to get up, but his legs wor light and his head was heavy, an’ whin he attimpted to get his feet an the road ’twas his head that was an it, bekase his legs cudn’t balance it. Well, he laid there and was bet entirely, an’ while he was studyin’ how he’d raise, he heard the throttin’ av a horse on the road. ’’Tis meself ’ull get the lift now,’ says he, and laid waitin’, and up comes the Pooka. Whin Dennis seen him, begob, he kivered his face wid his hands and turned on the breast av him, and roared wid fright like a bull.

"’Arrah thin, ye snakin’ blaggârd,’ says the Pooka, mighty short, ’lave aff yer bawlin’ or I’ll kick ye to the ind av next week,’ says he to him.

Irish Wonders — Part 11

"But Dennis was scairt, an’ bellered louder than afore, so the Pooka, wid his hoof, give him a crack on the back that knocked the wind out av him.

Irish Wonders — Part 11

"’Will ye lave aff,’ says the Pooka, ’or will I give ye another, ye roarin’ dough-face?’

Irish Wonders — Part 11

"Dennis left aff blubberin’ so the Pooka got his timper back.

"’Shtand up, ye guzzlin’ sarpint,’ says the Pooka, ’I’ll give ye a ride.’

"’Plaze yer Honor,’ says Dennis, ’I can’t. Sure I’ve not been afther drinkin’ at all, but shmokin’ too much an’ atin’, an’ it’s sick I am, and not ontoxicated.’

"’Och, ye dhrunken buzzard,’ says the Pooka, ’Don’t offer fur to desave me,’ liftin’ up his hoof agin, an’ givin’ his tail a swish that sounded like the noise av a catheract, ’Didn’t I thrack ye for two miles be yer breath,’ says he, ’An’ you shmellin’ like a potheen fact’ry,’ says he, ’An’ the nose on yer face as red as a turkey-cock’s. Get up, or I’ll lift ye,’ says he, jumpin’ up an’ cracking his hind fut like he was doin’ a jig.