In the afternoon the wardress came to let me go out. I saw none of my companions on the way, and I was put in an exercise yard quite alone. A pain in my side had by this time grown acutely. I rested against the wall, but nothing did it any good. The sight of the grey, frosty sky and the feel of air were a delight, but I could not bear the cold nor hold myself up, and after a little while I asked to come in.
The next day, Friday, January 21, as I was being fed--the wardresses had given up holding me--the pain of the tube in my body was more than I could bear; I seized hold of it and pulled it up. The wardresses reproved me for interfering, but they did not put the tube in again; the doctor said nothing. I was overwhelmed with the horror of the process, and for the first time I was convulsed with sobs. The doctor was kind to me. I said that I only cried from having no strength to resist, but that I meant to live out my sentence if I could.
This was the day the Visiting Magistrates were due. Later in the morning they came to my cell with the Governor, who said, “Have you any complaint? If only about the forcible feeding, you will have the opportunity later on in my room; don’t talk of that now.” I answered, “I have complaints to make not only about being fed by force, but as to the manner in which it was done.” He said, “Your opportunity for that also will come later on.” I think it was now, in the presence of the Visiting Magistrates, that I said to the Governor, “I shall be saying several things when I am out of prison, and it seems to me more fair and square to tell you of them now while I am still in your hands, and you can refute them if you like.” He allowed me to proceed, so I went on: “About the Governor, I shall say that while he was shocked at the great wickedness of breaking glass as a protest against forcible feeding, he sanctioned and approved of the violence and brutality of the forcible feeding itself.” He almost smiled, and replied hastily that he had never said anything of the kind. I began to ask which part of my statement he denied--his condemnation of glass-breaking or approval of the forced feeding, but he stopped me and would not allow any further remarks on that point.