"No, not since the introduction of the new veil," she answered sweetly. "You see the lips are completely covered, and it has become the fashion to press the lips against the cheek. This thing of kissing is a nuisance anyhow, and I wish the ladies would all stop it."
Careful Papa--But which loves Clara most--Brown, Jones or Smith?
Observant Mamma--Why, Mr. Smith, to be sure.
Papa--How can you make that out? Last night Brown asked and plead with her to sing; when she finished, Jones was enthusiastic in praise; but Smith didn't say a word!
Mamma--No, but to-night he asked her to sing again----
Papa--Poor Smith, he must, indeed, love her!
HE--O, my darling, you are so much better than I am, and I am so unworthy of you!
SHE--Love, I don't see what you can find about me to love!
SHE--I don't see why I ever married such a brute. I am going straight home to mother.
HE--Brute, eh? I want you to understand, young woman, that I only married you out of pity.
A week or two ago a well-known dealer in live stock of this city went over to Washington County to make a deal with a big stock raiser, who is also prominent as a strict Prohibitionist. The cattle having been inspected and the price agreed upon, the Washington County man retired to the house to make out a receipt and so on, leaving the Pittsburgher in his son's hands. As soon as the old man had disappeared indoors his son, a bright lad, nearing his majority, said to the Pittsburgher:
"This is rather dry work talking all day, ain't it?"
"Well," continued the young man, "I've a bottle out in the haymow, and we might as well get a taste of the stuff while dad's not by."
The Pittsburgher said "yes" again, and the two repaired to the haymow and looked upon the contents of the black bottle. Then the young Washingtonian hid the bottle in the haymow, saying as he did so: "Don't tell the old man anything about this--he's awful down on drinking."
Of course the Pittsburgher vowed silence as he smacked his lips and left the barn. Two minutes later he was in the house paying over the money to the old stock raiser. After the business in hand had been dispatched and the bargain had been closed the Pittsburgher was about to take his leave, when the old man said, rather awkwardly: "Say, are you feelin' dry? I've a jug down in the cellar, and the liquor's fine."
