[Illustration: "I was down on my knees doin' a buckin' bronco act, when there comes a gasp from the doorway."]
"Haw-haw!" roars Whitey, usin' the steam siren effect. And, as it's right on the corner of Forty-second and Broadway, he comes near collectin' a crowd. Four or five people turn around to see what the merriment is all about, and a couple of 'em stops short in their tracks. One guy I spotted for a vaudeville artist lookin' for stuff that might fat up his act.
"Say," Whitey goes on, poundin' me on the back jovial, "that's rich, that is!"
"Glad it amuses you," says I, startin' to move off.
"Oh, come, old chap!" says he, followin' along. "Don't get crabby. What--what is it, anyway?"
"It's a baby," says I. "Quite a young one. Now go laugh your fat head off, you human hyena."
With that shot I dashes through the traffic and catches a downtown car, leavin' him there with his silly face unhinged. And I did no more announcin' to anybody. I was through advertisin'. When some of the commuters on the eight-three heard the news and started springin' their comic tricks on me, I pretended I didn't understand.
I don't know what they thought. I didn't give a whoop, either. I wasn't demandin' that anybody should pass solemn resolutions thankin' me for what I'd done for my country, or stand with their hats off as I went by. But I was overstocked on this joke-book junk.
Maybe I didn't look like a father, or act like one; but I was doin' my best on the short notice I'd had.
I will say for Vee that she stood by me noble. She seemed to think whatever I did was all right, even when I shied at holdin' the youngster for the first time.
"I'm afraid I'll bend him in the wrong place," I protests.
"Goose!" says she. "Of course you won't."
"You can't if you take him just as I show you," she goes on patient. "Now, sit down in that chair. Crook your left arm like this. Now hold your knees together, and we'll just put the little precious right in your---- There! Why, you're doing it splendidly."
I might have believed her if I hadn't caught a glimpse of myself in the glass. Say, I was sittin' there as easy and graceful as if I'd been made of structural iron and reinforced concrete. Stiff! Them stone lions in front of the Public Lib'ry was frolicsome lambs compared to me. And I was wearin' the same happy look on my face as if I was havin' a tooth plugged.