“In making my first appearance before this honor'ble membership I feel restrained to say--” He stopped short, and thenceforward shook visibly. After a long pause, he managed to repeat his opening, stopped again, swallowed many times, produced a handkerchief and wiped his face, an act of necessity--then had an inspiration.
“The subject assigned to me,” he said, “is resolved that Germany is mor'ly and legally justified in Belgians--Belgiums! This subject was assigned to me to be the subject of this debate.” He interrupted himself to gasp piteously; found breathing difficult, but faltered again: “This subject is the subject. It is the subject that was assigned to me on a postal card.” Then, for a moment or so, he had a miraculous spurt of confidence, and continued rather rapidly: “I feel constrained to say that the country of Belgian--Belgium, I mean--this country has been constrained by the--invaded I mean--invaded by the imperial German Impire and my subject in this debate is whether it ought to or not, my being the infernative--affirmative, I mean--that I got to prove that Germany is mor'ly and legally justified. I wish to state that--”
He paused again, lengthily, then struggled on. “I have been requested to state that the German Imp--Empire--that it certainly isn't right for those Dutch--Germans, I mean--they haven't got any more business in Belgium than I have myself, but I--I feel constrained to say that I had to accept whatever side of this debate I got on the postal card, and so I am constrained to take the side of the Dutch. I mean the Germans. The Dutch are sometimes called--I mean the Germans are sometimes called the Dutch in this country, but they aren't Dutch, though sometimes called Dutch in this country. Well, and so--so, well, the war began last August or about then, anyway, and the German army invaded the Belgian army. After they got there, the invasion began. First, they came around there and then they commenced invading. Well, what I feel constrained--”
He came to the longest of all his pauses here, and the awful gravity of the audience almost suffocated him. “Well,” he concluded, “it don't look right to me.”
“Four minutes!” the chairman announced, for Ramsey's pauses had worn away a great deal more of this terrible interval than had his eloquence. “Opening statement for the negative: Miss D. Yocum. Four minutes.”