“But,” he exclaimed ruefully, “I’ve ordered supper, a bird and a bottle for two, in a private room at the X----,” mentioning one of the swellest and most expensive restaurants in Town.
“Never mind,” I said, “it won’t be wasted. You and I will eat it between us. Then you can order another one for to-morrow night, and I’ll speak to the girl in the meantime, and fix things up for you with her.”
“All right,” he agreed. “But don’t forget a second time.”
Well, we ate the supper, and the next night he was behind the scenes while my show was on, hopping about here, there, and everywhere like a cat on hot bricks. Directly it was over he advanced, smirking and smiling; and the introduction he craved was performed--as follows:
“Mr. So-and-So, this is Mrs. Carlton--my wife: Marie, my dear, this is Mr. So-and-So, the manager, who is desirous of making your acquaintance.”
I never saw a man so utterly taken aback in my life. He didn’t know what to say or do, but simply stood stock-still, and stared, and gasped. Afterwards we had a hearty laugh together over the incident.
“You had me properly,” he said; “but you might have told me.”
“Well,” I replied, “let it be a lesson to you not to go running after the girls in a show without first making sure that they’re single.”
At a certain northern town where I once performed in pantomime the police were inclined to be somewhat uppish and disagreeable, and the male artistes who were there at the time formed themselves into a committee of the whole house, and resolved to be even with them. So one night the neighbourhood near the central police-station was aroused by a tremendous disturbance coming from the inside of a third-story room of a house situated almost opposite. The police turned out in force. A crowd collected, gazing excitedly upward.
A tragedy was being enacted before their eyes. There was a light burning inside the room, and on the drawn blind were silhouetted the figures of two men furiously struggling. Presently the blind was torn aside, and one of the combatants, a big, strong fellow, threw the other bodily out of the window. A shriek of horror burst from the crowd, and the policemen on duty below rushed forward to try and break his expected fall.