"Dearest Julia, your most affectionate "AMELIA.
"P.S. Wrist or no wrist, I must tell you of the perfidy of that villain, Edwin Brown. Ma has just been in to say that he has run away with his father's dairymaid. A perjured wretch! and a dairymaid too! I have for-sworn love for ever, and made over my sheep to Emily. Oh, Julia!
"P.S. I open this sheet to tell you of the shocking fire that happened here last night. We might have all been burnt to death in our beds. The barns, stables, and other out-buildings are reduced to cinders; and all owing to William's fine rick of hay, which it seems was put up too green, and took fire of its own accord. Very odd—pa's book never said a word about it. We are all very miserable.
A man in the last stage of destitution came before the sitting magistrate at Lambeth Street, and stated, that having by the operation of the New Poor Laws been suddenly deprived of parish assistance, he was reduced to such extremity, that, if not instantly relieved, he must be driven to do a deed that his soul abhorred. The worthy magistrate instantly ordered him five shillings from the poor-box, and after a suitable admonition against giving way to despair, asked him what dreadful deed he would have been impelled to but for this seasonable relief? "To work!" said the man, with a deep sigh, as he left the office.
┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────┬──────────────┐ │ JULY. │[Illustration]│ ├──┬───────────────────────────────────────────────────┼──────────────┤ │ │Two potent elements combine │ │ │ │ To rule the month together, │ │ │ │St. Swithin gives us showers of rain, │ │ │ │ The mad dogs, _biting_ weather. │ │ │ │And if you get a dubious gripe │ │ │ │ From Pincher, Snap, or Toby, │ │ │ │The good saint's bucket comes right │ │ │ │ To test the Hydro-phoby. │ │ ├──┼───────────────────────────────────────────────────┼──────────────┤ │D.│ =Great Events and Odd Matters.= │ _Prognosti- │ │ │ │ fications._ │ ├──┼───────────────────────────────────────────────────┼──────────────┤ │ 1│ │ │ │ │ │ Doth not │ │ 2│ │ │ │ │ │ many │ │ 3│Dog Days _beg_. │ │ │ │ │ a Benedick │ │ 4│[Illustration] "Old Mother Hubbard │ │ │ │ │ ♋ ☍ ♐ │ │ 5│ Went to the cupboard, │ │ │ │ │ know │ │ 6│ To get her poor dog a bone." │ │ │ │ │ right well │ │ 7│ │ │ │ │ │ │ │ 8│ │ ♏ ♈ ♎ ♉ │ │ │ │ │ │ 9│ HOW TO MAKE A MAD DOG. │ that a │ │ │ │ │ │10│ _By a Knowing Hand._ │ cloudy │ │ │ │ │ │11│Tie a dog that is little, and one that is large, │ brow │ │ │To a truck or a barrow as big as a barge; │ │ │12│Their mouths girded tight with a rugged old cord │ ♄ ⚹ ♒ │ │ │ (or │ │ │ │They'll put out their tongues) by the magistrate's │ │ │ │ order; │ │ │13│So you save 'em the trouble of feeding, I think, │ │ │ │Or the loss of your time by their stopping to │ on the │ │ │ drink. │ │ │14│Lend 'em out, 'tis a neighbourly duty, of course, │ │ │ │And mind they've a load that would stagger a horse.│ aspect of │ │15│If you've nothing to draw, why, yourselves let 'em │ │ │ │ carry (sons │ │ │ │Of she dogs!), or else they'll be drawing │ his dear │ │ │ compari-sons. │ │ │16│With a stick or a kick make 'em gallop away, │ │ │ │And smoke through the streets in a piping-hot day, │ │ │17│Where Mac Adam is spreading his pebbles about, │ ☌ ♈ │ │ │And they'll pick up their feet all the quicker, no │ │ │ │ doubt; │ │ │18│More than all, don't allow them their noses to │ betokeneth │ │ │ wet;—it │ │ │ │Will keep 'em alert by the "wish they may get it." │ │ │19│All pleasures must end:—when they drop head and │ _cool_ │ │ │ tail, │ │ │ │With their muzzles all froth, like a tankard of │ │ │ │ ale, │ │ │20│Turn 'em loose in the road with a whoop and a │ _breezes_, │ │ │ hollo, │ │ │ │And get all the thieves and the blackguards to │ │ │ │ follow. │ │ │21│It's a precious good lark for the neighbours, │ ☍ ♈ ♀ ⚹ │ │ │ you'll find, │ │ │ │With the mad dogs before and the sad dogs behind, │ │ │22│And you'll ne'er be molested, rely on my word, │ probably │ │ │If you keep 'em from biting a Bishop or Lord. │ │ │23│ │ followed by │ │ │ │ │ │24│ │ _a storm_, │ │ │ │ │ │25│ │ │ │ │ │ ♋ ☊ ♅ │ │26│ │ │ │ │ │_accompanied_ │ │27│ │ │ │ │ │ _with_ │ │28│ │ │ │ │ │ _showers_? │ │29│ │ │ │ │ │ │ │30│ │ ♊ ♄ ☌ ☽ │ │ │ │ │ │31│Second week of St. Swithin. Ladies sigh for "a │ And that. │ │ │ little sun." │ │ └──┴───────────────────────────────────────────────────┴──────────────┘