And if you want your money's worth, With honest traders barter; For if to marts like these you go, You'll surely be a martyr.
┌──┬──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │ │[Illustration] AUGUST. │ ├──┴──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤ │ The postboys clatter to the door, │ │ Whips cracking and spurs pricking; │ │ The hero who went up at four │ │ Came down at five, alive and kicking. │ │ Below is a special communication │ │ From a private source, to inform the nation. │ ├──┬────────────────────────────────────────────────────┬─────────────┤ │D.│ =Great Events and Odd Matters.= │ _Prognosti- │ │ │ │ fications._ │ ├──┼────────────────────────────────────────────────────┼─────────────┤ │ 1│Charles X. abdic. 1830. New issue of Sovereigns. │ │ │ │ │ if he would │ │ 2│ │ │ │ │ │ _look for_ │ │ 3│ THE BALLOON ASCENT. │ │ │ │ │ _sunshine_, │ │ 4│ "_Only threepence more, and up goes the Donkey._" │ │ │ │ │ ♅ ♀ ♌ │ │ 5│Dear Captain! let me thank my lucky fate │ │ │ │That brings me safe and sound through every strait, │ he must, │ │ 6│And when my rebel subjects tipp'd me over, │ │ │ │Placed between them and me the Straits of Dover: │ungrudgingly │ │ 7│On _terra firma_ I've at length alighted, │ │ │ │More dead than living, tho' less hurt than frighted,│ and │ │ 8│And strike me ugly—that I swear quite plain, │ │ │ │I'll never venture in the air again. │ obediently, │ │ 9│To let me go the varlets scarce were willing │ │ │ │As long as they could show me for a shilling:— │ │ │10│At last however all was right and handy, │ ♃ ♂ ⊕ │ │ │By Madame's wondrous skill and—drops of brandy; │ │ │11│And while my cheeks with glowing rouge were spread, │ acquiesce │ │ │'Tis false to say the white usurp'd the red. │ │ │12│Then as we mounted in the clear blue sky, │ in and │ │ │The Queen's own private Aëronaute and I, │ │ │13│A field of handkerchiefs waved full in view, │ accede to │ │ │Dirty and clean, silk, cotton, black and blue; │ │ │14│And while the huge machine majestic rose, │ │ │ │I gazed on many an elevated nose, │ ♊ ♀ │ │15│And heard, and wrote it down, with great surprise, │ │ │ │A man in spectacles exclaim "my eyes!" │ all her │ │16│Just as we threw the sand-bags quickly o'er, │ │ │ │And rose so high that I could hear no more. │ modest │ │17│So being fairly out of mortal ken, │ │ │ │The fair one said, "We'll soon come down again." │requirements?│ │18│Too soon—for while I turn'd myself around, │ │ │ │Balloon and car came spinning to the ground: │ │ │19│The earth received my nob—too thick to split— │ ♈ ☿ ♏ │ │ │The lady fell on—what she thought most fit. │ │ │20│I gallop'd off as fast as steeds could fly; │ when, and │ │ │To bed she posted quickly, there—_to lie_. │ │ │21│ │ not before, │ │ │ │ │ │22│ │ │ │ │ │ ☉ ☽ ♑ │ │23│ │ │ │ │ │ he may │ │24│ │ │ │ │ │ reasonably │ │25│ │ │ │ │ │ │ │26│Fête Champêtre. _Field-fare_ arrive. │ ☊ ⚹ ♀ │ │ │ │ │ │27│ │ _expect_ │ │ │ │ │ │28│ │ _fair │ │ │ │ weather_ │ │ │ │ │ │29│ │ _to the_ │ │ │ │ │ │30│ │_end of the_ │ │ │ │ │ │31│Jews banished England, 1290. "New Way to Pay Old │ _month_. │ │ │ Debts." │ │ └──┴────────────────────────────────────────────────────┴─────────────┘