Being only a dog, he soon grew tired of his pampered life, and since he was really a dog, the kisses and petting of his pretty mistress failed to produce the “kick” that he had anticipated.
So, he slipped out of the house, and found himself on a broad and spacious avenue, lined with trees, telegraph poles and iron fence posts.
Now, that was many moons ago, but up to the present writing, the little doggie has not reached the Genii’s house to be changed back to a man.
MORAL: It’s a poor wish that won’t work two ways.
_Women give themselves to God when the Devil wants nothing more to do with them._
_Since Cupid is represented with a torch in his hand, why did they place virtue on a barrel of gunpowder?_
_A woman forgives everything but the fact that you do not covet her._
“Hello, Bill, how did you enjoy the show last night?”
“Fine, Joe. Wasn’t that some pippin in the bathing suit?”
“Well, I saw her without the suit on today.”
John Philip Sousa traveled six thousand miles to hear the celebrated chimes of an English church. As he was drawing near the place the wonderful chimes rang out, and enraptured, Sousa exclaimed to the driver of the vehicle, “You folk are indeed fortunate to live within sound of those heavenly chimes.”
“I can’t hear a word you say,” shouted the driver irritably, “them d—— bells deafen me.”
Sexton—“Not your dog? Why, he’s following you.”
A cross-eyed man at a dance hall said “May I have the next dance, please?” Two girls answered as with one voice, “With pleasure.”
Algernon—Dearest, I could sit here forever gazing into your charming eyes and listening to the wash of the ocean.
The Girl—That reminds me, Honey. I have a laundry bill and I’m dead broke.
There’s one thing I can’t eat for breakfast and that is supper.
While a darky was being led to the gallows a crowd of people ran past him.
“What yo all running fo?” yelled Sambo after them, “Dey ain’t nothin’ gwine to happen till ah gets dere.”
He is so stingy he goes to the postoffice to fill his fountain pen.
Johnny (running into the room of his mother on April 1st)—“Mama, there’s a strange man kissing our maid.”
“Honey, I must get out and spank the engine over the ears.”
The nurse at the front regarded the wounded soldier with a puzzled look.