Judging by the crowded state of all the myriad places of entertainment in this city there are millions who are like them. But I couldn't help thinking that if so much money seems really to be needed, and this Mr. LAW is really a public benefactor, it might not be a bad idea to try to divert some of the thousands of pounds being paid every day in London alone for sheer amusement. Of course if England had the misfortune to be at war most of these places would naturally be shut up.
By the way, Germans are strangely unpopular in London just now. I have heard numbers of people, all in different places, such as the Tube and omni-buses and tea-shops, using very strong terms about them. It has been quite a series of coincidences.
[Illustration: "NOW, BOBBY, BE A GOOD BOY AND COME AND SAY YOUR PRAYERS."
"BUT YOU MUST, BOBBY. COME ALONG AT ONCE."
"ALL RIGHT, THEN. I SHALL PRAY FOR THE GERMANS."]
Tub-swill, tub-swill! _have_ you any tub-swill? I will send my footman to fetch it, if I may; For I'm hoping _all_ the restaurants and all the nicest clubs will Give me broken victuals, if I send for them each day; In the Park, in Piccadilly, Down at Ascot, in the Shires, We've been up in terms like "filly," "Dams" and "sires," "Smooths" and "wires;" Now it's "gilts" and it's "boars" And it's "suckers" and it's "stores"-- The terms that one acquires Now we're keeping pigs to pay.
Hog-wash, hog-wash! _are_ you selling hog-wash In a pretty bottle with a nice pneumatic spray? Nevermore in perfume shall a useless little dog wash; In my heart and boudoir precious piggy's holding sway. Oh, indeed, it's _worse_ than silly If a person now admires An inedible young filly, Dams and sires, Smooths and wires; For in gilts and in boars And in suckers and in stores Proper keenness one acquires Now we're keeping pigs to pay.
"A Berlin telegram says that the Kaiser has created the Austrian Emperor a Field-Marshal.
The material damage done was insignificant."--_Glasgow Evening Times_.
"More Food.--Wanted, Partner, either sex, to increase stock open-air pig-farm."--_Morning Paper_.
An opening for one of the Food Hogs we read so much about.
Last week, a prey to military duty, I turned my lagging footsteps to the West; I have a natural taste for scenic beauty, And all my pent emotions may be guessed To find myself again At Didcot, loathliest junction of the plain.