_A baldheaded man likes to tell about the hair-breadth escapes he’s had._
If ignorance is bliss—then why be otherwise?
In the race “Back to Nature,” the Bathing Suit is a close second. The Evening Gown leading by a fraction of an inch.
If a body find a bottle comin’ thru the rye, Don’t it make a body sore to find the bottle dry?
Flattery is like cologne; to be smelled but not swallowed.
When you’re down in the mouth, remember Jonah. He came out all right.
It’s the little things that worry us. We can dodge an elephant, but not a flea.
_Variety is the spice of—Salt Lake City._
All the world loves a lover, except hubby.
You will take your fun where you find it But you’ll find while you’re taking your fun The more you mix with the many The less you will care for the one.
“A little bit goes a long ways,” said the goose, as she pushed the pebble over the precipice. “That remains to be seen,” said the pup as he wagged his tail and walked away.
_May I hold your Palm, Olive?_ _Not on your Life, Buoy._
What was the cause of that scar you have on your head?
A woman told me that her husband was in St. Louis.
“This hotel is a book of life,” chortled the blonde and boastful desk clerk, “with me the hero thrilling its pages, and you poor bell hops—merely the pages.”
_Now I lay me down to sleep,_ _Behold, around me bed-bugs creep._
Harrowed husband to barber: Please don’t use that sweet smelling soap on my face.
Barber: Why not, sir; it has a delicate lasting scent.
Harrowed husband: That’s just it; my wife won’t believe it.
I’VE HAD A LOT OF JOYS ON EARTH; I DON’T WANT TO BE A HOG. REINCARNATED—I WANT TO BE A BATHING BEAUTY’S DOG.
Don’t swell up when someone takes you for a ride. You might be used as ballast.
A skinny girl in an evening dress, shows more backbone than a man.
You can string beans and kid gloves, but you can’t bull frogs.
He never had tended to children, Yet he said that he wouldn’t mind When his wife went away, if she would not Leave the babies behind.
“_There goes a man who can’t bear children._”
I once knew a girl Who wore a little curl Right in the middle of her forehead And when she was good She was very, very good But when she was bad She was very INTERESTING.
First we abolish what we consider an evil, opines the Town Tankard, and afterward secretly embrace it.