Later on my mother came in with the children, who, after having sold their papers, had watched for her at the house where she did her work.
When the scanty supper was over, and it grew late, my brother arrived. I was greatly shocked. He had changed completely. His face looked pale and haggard, black circles were around his eyes, his hair hung wildly over his forehead, his figure was lean, and his movements had lost all their former gracefulness.
I controlled as well as I could the effect which this sad sight had produced upon me, and shook hands with him.
"I am afraid," he said, with the same touch of cynicism in his voice which I had noticed whenever he had spoken to me before--"I am afraid that you won't very much enjoy staying with us."
"As soon as I have recovered," I answered, "I will put everything in order."
"Put everything in order," my brother shouted, shaking with laughter; "do you really think that this man"--he pointed to my father--"would ever allow such a thing? Let me tell you that your honourable papa is extremely fond of dirt."
For the second time in my life I saw the vein of wrath swell on my father's forehead.
"Yes," my brother replied, and made himself ready to fight.
I sprang to my feet and placed myself with clasped hands before my father.
"Pray do not listen to what he says," I cried between my tears and sobs; "you know that I do not believe a single word of it."
"For your sake," my father replied; then his clenched fists dropped and he left the room hurriedly.
"He is, of course, acting the offended part now," my brother continued in the same scornful way as before, "and I hope for goodness' sake that you will not be influenced by this comedian and feel pity, which would be ill-placed in his case. You have been away these last years and have had no opportunity to get to know him fully. I, however, see through his game, and so will you after you have spent some time at home. At present you may see in me a scoundrel or something near to it, but I can assure you that although circumstances compel me to live under the same roof with these common people, I am still the gentleman that I was before. Schiller says somewhere in his dramas, a jewel remains a jewel even should it happen to get mixed up with dung. As it is, I am a man whom life has cruelly disappointed only because his ideals were too fine and his dreams touched heaven. It is true that I am perhaps one of the most questionable creatures to-day, but wait for half a year, or say a year--my head is filled with ideas which will, when worked out, affect like an explosion our entire code of laws, together with the whole life as we conceive it to-day. Outwardly I am a waiter, a rogue, or whatever you like, but inwardly I am at work on a kingdom for millions of beings who now toil away half-starved in obscurity--and that kingdom of mine holds a crown for everyone."