[_Mummie helps him to more Strawberries!_]
The excitement is getting terrific. In the principal streets party flags are waving gaily. In the suburbs every other house is hidden beneath vast posters, setting forth the merits of the rival parties. The Association of Jam-Dealers held a private meeting last night. I was, however, enabled to be present having disguised myself as Mr. BLACKFORD, one of the Vice-Presidents of the Association, who was taken ill at the last moment, and whose letter of excuse for non-attendance I managed to intercept. The proceedings opened with prayer, on the model of the recent Ulster Convention. After this, the discussion began. A series of questions had, it appears, been addressed to both Candidates. Here they are:--
(1) Will you oppose any attempt to increase the import of foreign jam-stuffs?
(2) Will you support a measure making it compulsory for the London Cooperative Stores to sell only Jam manufactured by the Bunkham Jam-Dealers' Association?
(3) Will you oppose any measure calculated to deprive the rising generation of one of the necessaries of life in the shape of Bunkham Jam? And will you therefore oppose, by all lawful Parliamentary means, the use of the domestic rod as a punishment for so-called Jam-stealing out of store-room cupboards?
(4) Which do you prefer, gooseberries, raspberries, or strawberries?
(5) Will you advocate a tax of twopence per pot on all jam not manufactured in the Bunkham district?
Both Candidates had sent written replies. But it was generally felt that on the answers to the fourth question, the vote of the meeting would depend. Bunkham is a district in which raspberries and gooseberries are almost exclusively grown. Now it is well-known that Mr. PLEDGER, the Liberal Candidate, has an almost passionate affection for strawberry-jam, and much interest was shown as to whether he would be true to his favourite food, or renounce it in order to capture votes. I am glad to say that the honourable gentleman refused to palter with his convictions. In a manly and straightforward answer, he declined to be a party to "a system of espionage which had invaded the breakfast table, and might go far to make even luncheon intolerable."