This is but one of the many instances of the free-and-easy actions on the part of men, permitted by well-meaning girls.
In nine hundred and ninety-nine cases out of a thousand a man will not take a liberty with a girl unless she allows it.
I wish girls would bear this fact in mind! Men are what they make them, what they allow them to be. When a young fellow told a man in my presence last week that such and such a girl was a “jolly sort,” and, while out driving, had stopped at a roadhouse with him, gone into the parlor of the house and taken a glass of ginger ale while he had one of whisky, I was not surprised that the man of the world to whom he imparted this fact, remarked, “Crookéd, eh?”
That the young fellow (who, had he been older or less easily flattered, would not have related the occurrence) flushed and laughingly denied the allegation—did not alter the fact that the conclusion drawn was inevitable. The young girl may not, probably did not, deserve the stricture passed on her, but by her free-and-easy behavior she lost something she never can regain.
Men may pay attention to girls who ignore the conventionalities, who allow them doubtful liberties, but they like them because they are what they term “fun.” Such girls are not those for whom men live, for whom they sacrifice bad habits, for whom they look in seeking a wife, and for whom they would bravely give up life if necessary. The true love of a good man is worth winning. It is not won by the girl who lowers herself in a man’s eyes. To her might apply the time-worn toast of man to “The New Woman,—once our superior, now our equal.”
Another point to which I would draw the attention of our girl is that the man should make the advances, should do the seeking and the courting. To this she would reply, “Why, of course! All girls know that.” They may know it theoretically, but does every girl live up to that knowledge? Does she always wait to be sought, to be won, without taking a hand herself at assisting destiny? I think observation will not prove that she does.
In this very free-and-easy age, when men are too busy seeking the elusive mighty dollar to be over-eager to show marked attention to girls, it is often the young woman who pays heed to some of the preliminaries of the courting period. It is frequently she who suggests to a man, after meeting him several times, that she would be glad to have him call. It is she who, when he is going on a journey, asks him if he will not write to her. It is she who asks him for his picture and, on occasion, offers him one of hers.