As all affectation is wrong, and tends to expose and make a man ridiculous, so the more distant he is from the thing which he affects to appear, the stronger will be the ridicule which he excites, and the greater the inconvenience into which he thereby runs himself. How strangely absurd it is for a timorous person to procure a military post, in order to keep himself out of danger! and to fancy a red coat the surest protection for cowardice! Yet there have been those who have purchased a commission to avoid being insulted; and have been so silly as to think courage was interwoven with a sash, or tied up in a cockade. But it would not be amiss for such gentlemen to consider that it is not in the power of scarlet cloth to alter nature, and that as it is expected a soldier should shew himself a man of courage and intrepidity upon all proper occasions, they may by this means meet the disgrace they intended to avoid, and appear greater Asses than they needed to have done. However, it is not in point of fortitude only that people are liable to expose themselves, by assuming a character to which they are not equal; but he who puts on a shew of learning, of religion, of a superior capacity in any respect, or in short, of any virtue or knowledge, to which he has no proper claim, is, and will always be found to be, an Ass in a Lion’s skin.
As a clownish Fellow was sitting musing upon a bank, a Gnat alighted upon his leg and bit it. He slapped his hand upon the place, with the intention of crushing the assailant; but the little nimble insect escaped between his fingers, and repeated its attacks. Every time he struck at it, he gave himself a smart blow upon the leg, but missed his aim. At this he became enraged, and in the height of his peevish and impatient humour, he earnestly prayed to Hercules, beseeching him with his mighty power to stretch forth his arm against a pernicious insect, by which he was so miserably tormented.
He who suffers his mind to be ruffled by every little inconvenience, subjects himself to perpetual uneasiness and disquiet. There is no accident, however trivial, but is capable of disconcerting him, and he becomes absurdly miserable on the most foolish occasion. His good humour is soured in an instant, and he is rendered uncomfortable to himself, and odious or ridiculous to all about him. He prays with earnestness to the Supreme Being to aid him in all his paltry selfish schemes, or to gratify vanities, for which, as a rational being, he ought to blush and be ashamed. The imaginary distresses, which his unfortunate disposition heightens into severe calamities, are matter of diversion to those who are disposed to sneer at him; and when his pettish humour makes him rave like a madman, and curse his fate, at the dropping of a hat, or the blunder of a servant, even his friends must view his behaviour with a mixed emotion of pity and contempt.