_First W._ It ought to be bought up by Gover'ment, that it ought--they're well able to afford it.
A select party of Philistines, comprising a young Man, apparently in the Army, and his Mother and Sister, are examining Mr. GILBERT'S Jubilee Trophy in a spirit of puzzled antipathy.
_The Mother_. Dear me, and _that_'s the Jubilee centrepiece, is it? What a heavy-looking thing. I wonder what _that_ cost?
_Her Son_ (_gloomily_). Cost? Why, about two days' pay for every man in the Service!
_His Mother_. Well, I call it a shame for the Army to be fleeced for _that_ thing. Are those creatures intended for mermaids, with their tails curled round that glass ball, I wonder? [She sniffs.
_Her Daughter_. I expect it will be crystal, Mother.
_Her Mother_. Very likely, my dear, but--glass or crystal--_I_ see no sense in it!
_Daughter_. Oh, it's absurd, of course--still, this figure isn't badly done, is it supposed to represent St. GEORGE carrying the Dragon? Because they've made the Dragon no bigger than a salmon!
_Mother_. Ah, well, I hope HER MAJESTY will be better pleased with it than I am, that's all.
[After which they fall into ecstasies over an industrial exhibit, consisting of a drain-pipe, cunningly encrusted with fragments of regimental mess-china set in gilded cement.
Before a large mechanical clock, representing a fortress, which is striking. Trumpets sound, detachments of wooden soldiers march in and out of gateways, and parade the battlements, clicking, for a considerable time.
_A Spectator_ (_with a keen sense of the fitness of things_). What--all that for on'y 'alf-past five!
_Spectators_ (_passing in front of groups of models arranged in realistic surroundings_). All the faces screwed up to suffering, you see!... What a nice patient expression that officer on the stretcher has! Yes, they've given _him_ a wax head--some of them are only _papier mâché_.... Pity they couldn't get nearer their right size in 'elmets, though, ain't it?... There's _one_ chap's given up the ghost!... I know that stuffed elephant--he comes from the Indian Jungle at the Colinderies!... I _do_ think it's a pity they couldn't get something more _like_ a mule than this wooden thing! Why, it's quite _flat_, and it's ears are only leather, nailed on!... You can't tell, my dear; it may be a peculiar breed out there--cross between a towel-horse and a donkey-engine, don't you know!