THE usual greetings o'er, our envious dame, With scowling brow exclaim'd,--my dear, your fame, I love too much not fully to detail, What I have witnessed, and with truth bewail; Will you continue, in your house to keep A girl, whose conduct almost makes me weep? Anon I'd kick her from your house, I say; The strumpet should not stay another day. The wife replied, you surely are deceiv'd; An honest, virtuous creature she's believ'd. Well, I can easily, my friend, suppose, Rejoin'd the neighbour, whence this favour flows; But look about, and be convinc'd, this morn From my own window (true as you are born,) Within the garden I your husband spi'd And presently the servant girl I ey'd; At one another various flow'rs they threw, And then the minx a little graver grew. I understand you, cried the list'ning fair; You are deceiv'd:--myself alone was there.
But patience, if you please: attend I pray You've no conception what I meant to say: The playful fair was actively employ'd, In plucking am'rous flow'rs--they kiss'd and toy'd.
'Twas clearly I, howe'er, for her you took.
The flow'rs for bosoms quickly they forsook; Large handfuls frequently they seem'd to grasp, And ev'ry beauty in its turn to clasp.
But still, why think you, friend, it was not I? Has not your spouse with you a right to try What freaks he likes?
But then, upon the ground This girl was thrown, and never cried nor frown'd; You laugh.--
Be patient:--and inform me, pray, If this were worn by you or her to-day? There lies the point, for, if you'll me believe, Your husband did--the most you can conceive.
How hard of credence!--'twas myself I vow.
Oh! that's conclusive; I'll be silent now; Though truly I am led to think, my eyes Are pretty sharp, and much I feel surprise At what you say; in fact, I would have sworn, I saw them thus at romps this very morn; Excuse the hint, and do not turn her off.
Why, turn her off?--the very thought I scoff; She serves me well.
And so it seems is taught; By all means keep her then, since thus she's thought.
AS o'er their wine one day, three gossips sat, Discoursing various pranks in pleasant chat, Each had a loving friend, and two of these Most clearly managed matters at their ease.
SAID one, a princely husband I have got. A better in the world there's surely not; With him I can adjust as humour fits, No need to rise at early dawn, like cits, To prove to him that two and three make four, Or ask his leave to ope or shut the door.