And I smiled, but my lips quivered, too, and I clenched my hands. So then he sat down on my bed and said,—
’You needn’t be ashamed to if you want to. I know you’ve got "views" about it, and didn’t when you said good-bye to Michael, but a person that has had a bug is not considered to be eternally disgraced if she does.’
So I did, and clung to him a little while, and then he remarked that it was an awful thing to have a sister who had got a bug, so that no one would come and stay with her. Then he kissed me and whispered,—
’I’m not perfectly positive that you aren’t safest of all with Him, darling.’
’I fled Him, down the nights and down the days: I fled Him, down the arches of the years: I fled Him down the labyrinthine ways Of my own mind: and in a mist of tears I hid from Him.’ _Hound of Heaven._
Another fortnight has slipped away. I have had one little note from Ross in which he sent me ’all his love,’ and now, how can I write the news I have to tell?
Three days ago (ah, what an eternity it seems) I was ordering the dinner, for I am stronger now, and able to do the usual things.
Uncle Jasper and Aunt Constance were due to arrive in time for lunch. Captain Everard was to dine that night, and I had just said to cook, ’Extra good to-night, please, Dulcie, because he is a very special friend of my brother’s’ when the S.P. came into the kitchen with rather a startled look, and said, ’Captain Everard has arrived already, ma’am.’ When I saw his face, I knew.
Yes, directly he got over. He must have been rushed straight up to the trenches. How can I tell you, Mrs Ellsley?’
’See, I am quite calm,’ I said, ’please, tell me just the truth.’
So he told me the little that he knew, how very early in the morning he had received a telegram, (as Ross in his dear thoughtfulness had wished any such news to go first to him and not to me.) He said that Ross was wounded very desperately, and he had come himself to take me to the coast.
’Can you leave here in half an hour?’ he asked. ’If that is possible you may see him.’
Nannie packed for me, while I got ready. She was very quiet and good, only said, ’My lamb, my lamb, tell him——’
’I will tell him all your eyes say, darling,’ and I got into the car.
