.... Much interest was aroused last evening by the production of a new musical show, both the book and music of which have been written by natives of this country. A strong protest has been lodged by the United States Embassy.
.... A passenger on one of the Tube railways alleges that he entered a train at Oxford Circus Station last evening. No confirmation is as yet forthcoming, and the rumour must be treated with reserve.
.... The Peace Conference held a sitting yesterday and definitely decided that the ex-Kaiser should be tried one of these days. It is confidently stated in the inner circles of Paris that peace will inevitably be concluded within the next ten or twelve years.
.... Dancing still holds its own as the principal amusement of the bulk of the population. The latest dance, the Guzz-Jinx, which is danced on the hands with the right foot placed in the mouth of one's partner, is stated to be very graceful indeed. The correct music is provided by a band performing entirely on hair-combs and tea-trays.
.... A reduction is promised in the price of tobacco shortly. An ounce recently changed hands at a well-known Piccadilly shop at two hundred and seven pounds, but the new season's prices are not expected to be much above one hundred and fifty pounds.
A man was charged at Bow Street yesterday with endeavouring to ride in a motor-bus on Tuesday, the 12th of the month, when his permit was only for Thursday, the 15th of each month. He was severely cautioned and ordered to get a new calendar.
_Excited Duellist._ "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
_Nervous Opponent._ "I'M PUTTING MAGIC DROPS ON MY SWORD, WHICH WILL MAKE IT IRRESISTIBLE."
_Excited Duellist._ "BUT THAT'S NOT FAIR TO ME."
_Nervous Opponent (relieved)._ "ALL RIGHT, YOU CAN HAVE SOME AND WE'LL CALL IT A DRAW."]
Dear Lydia, long before your time, When I was half the 'teen you own to, Don Valentine was in his prime, The world not yet the thing it's grown to. The postman then with double knocks This morning many a heart was thrilling, And brought a shining cardboard box With round red hearts in paper frilling.
A simpler world, and well content With what seems small by modern measure; And winters came and roses went, Yet Time dulls pain as well as pleasure. Though, with this fashion out of date, His hand to-day weighs almost lightly If this my war-time chocolate Makes two dark eyes to shine more brightly.