An early deep-seated love to which we become faithless has its unfailing
Nemesis, if only in that division of soul which narrows all newer joys
by the intrusion of regret and the established presentiment of change. I
refer not merely to the love of a person, but to the love of ideas, practical beliefs, and social habits. And faithlessness here means not a gradual conversion dependent on enlarged knowledge, but a yielding to seductive circumstance; not a conviction that the original choice was a mistake, but a subjection to incidents that flatter a growing desire. In this sort of love it is the forsaker who has the melancholy lot; for an abandoned belief may be more effectively vengeful than Dido. The child of a wandering tribe caught young and trained to polite life, if he feels an hereditary yearning can run away to the old wilds and get his nature into tune. But there is no such recovery possible to the man who remembers what he once believed without being convinced that he was in error, who feels within him unsatisfied stirrings towards old beloved habits and intimacies from which he has far receded without conscious justification or unwavering sense of superior attractiveness in the new. This involuntary renegade has his character hopelessly jangled and out of tune. He is like an organ with its stops in the lawless condition of obtruding themselves without method, so that hearers are amazed by the most unexpected transitions—the trumpet breaking in on the flute, and the obve confounding both.
Hence the lot of Mixtus affects me pathetically, notwithstanding that he
spends his growing wealth with liberality and manifest enjoyment. To
most observers he appears to be simply one of the fortunate and also
sharp commercial men who began with meaning to be rich and have become
what they meant to be: a man never taken to be well-born, but
surprisingly better informed than the well-born usually are, and
distinguished among ordinary commercial magnates by a personal kindness
which prompts him not only to help the suffering in a material way
through his wealth, but also by direct ministration of his own; yet with
all this, diffusing, as it were, the odour of a man delightedly
conscious of his wealth as an equivalent for the other social
distinctions of rank and intellect which he can thus admire without
envying. Hardly one among those superficial observers can suspect that
he aims or has ever aimed at being a writer; still less can they imagine
that his mind is often moved by strong currents of regret and of the
most unworldly sympathies from the memories of a youthful time when his
chosen associates were men and women whose only distinction was a
religious, a philanthropic, or an intellectual enthusiasm, when the lady
on whose words his attention most hung was a writer of minor religious
literature, when he was a visitor and exhorter of the poor in the alleys
of a great provincial town, and when he attended the lectures given
specially to young men by Mr Apollos, the eloquent congregational
preacher, who had studied in Germany and had liberal advanced views then
far beyond the ordinary teaching of his sect. At that time Mixtus
thought himself a young man of socially reforming ideas, of religious
principles and religious yearnings. It was within his prospects also to
be rich, but he looked forward to a use of his riches chiefly for
reforming and religious purposes. His opinions were of a strongly
democratic stamp, except that even then, belonging to the class of
employers, he was opposed to all demands in the employed that would
restrict the expansiveness of trade. He was the most democratic in
relation to the unreasonable privileges of the aristocracy and landed
interest; and he had also a religious sense of brotherhood with the
poor. Altogether, he was a sincerely benevolent young man, interested in
ideas, and renouncing personal ease for the sake of study, religious
communion, and good works. If you had known him then you would have
expected him to marry a highly serious and perhaps literary woman, sharing his benevolent and religious habits, and likely to encourage his studies—a woman who along with himself would play a distinguished part in one of the most enlightened religious circles of a great provincial capital.
How is it that Mixtus finds himself in a London mansion, and in society
totally unlike that which made the ideal of his younger years? And whom
did he marry?