GROSVENOR--Then you will marry me, Patience? Ah, this is too much! (_Goes to clasp her in his arms._)
PATIENCE--But stop. I never thought of this. Love to be pure must be unselfish. If I marry you I shall deprive others of your beautiful presence, and the travelling public will know you no more. That would be selfish, and therefore I must not love you.
GROSVENOR--Oh, fatal perfection, again you stand in the way of my happiness; but you are right, Patience, you are right. (_Sings._)
Marry me, fair maiden, from my heart 'twill take a load Hey, but I'm hopeful, willow, willow waly, I'm the handsomest conductor on the Chicago & Alton Road; Hey, willow waly, oh! My salary is modest, My intentions are quite honest; Hey, willow waly, oh!
Gentle sir, 'tis true, 'twould be difficult to find: Hey, but he's hopeful, willow, willow waly, A personage more handsome and perfect in his mind Hey, willow waly, oh! Still I would not marry, So, prithee do not tarry; Hey, willow waly, oh!
(_Exit_ PATIENCE _sobbing_. GROSVENOR _remains in an attitude of grief._)
GROSVENOR--(_after a pause_). It must be written. The only woman I love is denied me while all others that I do not love are showered at my head. Perhaps some of you may envy my condition. If you do, follow this little bit of advice and you may soon find yourself as burdened with love as I am. (_Sings._)
If you're anxious for to shine in the highest railroad line as a man of genius rare, You must get up all the germs of the grandest railroad terms and plant them everywhere; You must smile at all the ladies, and be good to all the babies in a manner that is most kind; It really doesn't matter how much they cry and chatter or if they talk you deaf and blind. And everyone will say As you walk your cheerful way, If this young man behaves himself in the manner that we see, Why, what a very singularly nice young man this Alton man must be!
[Illustration: "Conceive me if you can A commonplace young man."]
[Illustration: A MOST UNIQUE YOUNG MAN, WHO RUNS THE CAR YOUNG MAN, POLITE TO THE LADIES ETC.]
[Illustration: "And kind to the babies."]
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