And still they come--and though it is too late to secure a copyright on the continent they never fail to copyright their impressions of America.
In spite of many laudable attempts, America was never seriously discovered until the year 1620 when the Mayflower landed in Massachusetts a cargo of Heirlooms, Boston Terriers, Beans and Ancestors.
Thus were established the three leading industries of Massachusetts, the manufacture of genuine antique furniture and Pedigrees (Human and canine).
BOSTON is a centre of Gravity completely surrounded by Newtons.
BOSTON is also the centre of the Universe.
The great poet Anonymous has immortalized Boston as
_"The home of the Bean and the Cod_ _Where Lowells speak only to Cabots_ _And Cabots speak only to God."_
Some say the lines were not written by Anonymous but by a later poet named Ibid, but what does a poet's name matter except to his creditors?
Boston is famous for its historic associations and landmarks which well repay a visit.
Even the quaint and curious Pullmans that convey the traveller thither are relics of a bygone day and a joy to the heart of the antiquarian.
The United States is a large body of laughter-loving people completely surrounded by Trusts.
It is the richest country in the world. Nowhere is food so plentiful, nowhere are the Cows so friendly, the Hens so industrious.
When the American Hens die they go to join their unhatched children in a cold-storage Heaven where they live forever.
So too the Cows, so too the Fish, if there is room for them; if not they are turned into fertilizer to keep them from scaling down the market price.
To add to the merriment of the People, the Sovereign Farmers and Financiers passed an amendment to the Constitution and Holy Writ (See I. Timothy V. 23.) abolishing Temperance, the sin of resisting temptation.
At their bidding, thousands of acres of deadly grape vines have been destroyed, and, if these great and good men fulfil their promise, ere long the nation will be saved also from the ravages of the vicious Tobac----
** We fail to see what this has to do with Geography. _The Reader._
Well, to return to the United States. The United States is a large dry country bounded on the north by Canadian Club Whisky, on the south by Mexican Pulque, and on the East and West by Salt Water. The Population consists of one hundred million thirsty souls, some of whom are Americans.