My Princess Boy is a 2009 children's picture book written by Cheryl Kilodavis and illustrated by Suzanne DeSimone. The story centers on a boy who likes "pretty things" and prefers to wear tiaras and "girly dresses." The story informs readers about supporting children regardless of their expression. Despite the attention he receives regarding his appearance, the Princess Boy always has the love and support of his family throughout the entire story.
While being controversial and frequently challenged, scholars advocate the book for its ability to introduce the idea of diversity in gender expression simply in homes, classrooms, counseling offices, and public libraries.
Plot
My Princess Boy begins with the narrator (and mother) introducing the Princess Boy and his many interests. The narrator describes the Princess Boy's family relationships and friendships. Next, the narrator expresses the conflict that arises with the Princess Boy's non-conforming gender identity and expression. In particular, the narrator recounts individuals laughing and staring at the Princess Boy when he wears or buys girly things. Throughout the entire story, the Princess Boy's family is steadfast in their reassurance, support, and love for the Princess Boy.
Background
The story was inspired by Kilodavis' son, Dyson. Kilodavis being a mother of a child who did not conform to stereotypical gender norms, wanted to advocate for the acceptance of gender differences. When her son Dyson was about two, he began creating his own personal style consisting of jewelry and dresses. Around this time was when Dyson proclaimed to her, "I am a Princess Boy, Mommy!"
Kilodavis also admitted to a delayed acceptance towards her role as being a mother of a gender nonconforming child. Kilodavis initially imposed "boy" things onto her son while pushing him away from "girly" things. Finally, Kilodavis' older son, Dkobe, brought about a turning point: When Dkobe was six he asked his mother, "My can't you just let him be happy, Mom?" At this point, Kilodavis recognized that her older son's words would affect her and her family for good. Additionally, Kilodavis' inability to find empowering or positive books for her son Dyson also played an influential role in pushing her towards creating My Princess Boy.
Kilodavis also mentioned that her upbringing played an extremely critical role in teaching her how to live spiritually, be self-aware, and sense what feels morally right from wrong. Kilodavis admitted that growing up, her socioeconomic and racial status made it harder for her to fit in as well. She too did not fit into the gender dichotomy of female stereotypes. Often, she was exploited when participating in male-dominated activities, due to her gender and race. She was further frustrated at the interplay between race and gender in society, and how she never saw examples of strong and powerful women in literature.
Finally, Kilodavis stated that Free to Be… You and Me by Marlo Thomas impacted her implicitly, as an author and mother, particularly with the book's themes of respect and acceptance. Furthermore, Kilodavis stated that Free to Be... You are Me helped set a foundation for her own book to be successfully received by adults who also felt different.
Lastly, Kilodavis affirmed that she wrote the story as a tool to help people start a discussion on the acceptance of diversity.
Analysis
According to The Horn Book Guide to Children's and Young Adult Books, although Kilodavis, inspired by her son, admirably addresses gender identity in young children, she "doesn’t prevail over taboo due to her text’s oversimplification and didacticism." Additionally, The Horn Book Guide to Children's and Young Adult Books contends that the "pink-heavy illustrations showing featureless characters are off-putting."
Alison Donnelly from The School Library Journal, on the other hand, maintains that Kilodavis, through her own experiences and the experiences of her son Dyson, is able to introduce themes such as identity, acceptance, individuality, and bullying. Donnelly claims that the book ultimately focuses around the themes of societal acceptance, unconditional love, and a unified family. Lastly, as asserted by Donnelly, My Princess Boy is also a call for tolerance, diversity, and the termination of judgment and bullying.