713. When Skelton published his ‘Deism Revealed,’ the Bishop of London asked the Bishop of Clogher if he knew the author? Oh yes, he has been a curate in my diocese near these twenty years. More shame for your lordship to allow a man of his merit to continue so long a curate in your diocese, was the reply.
714. A gentleman had a cask of Armenian wine, from which his servant stole a large quantity. When the master perceived the deficiency, he diligently inspected the top of the cask, but could find no traces of an opening. Look if there be not a hole in the bottom, said a by-stander. Blockhead, he replied, do you not see that the deficiency is at the top, and not at the bottom?
715. Malherbe, the famous reformer of French poetry, and of the French language, dined one day at the table of a bishop, who was to preach a sermon the same evening, but who was more hospitable than eloquent. The dinner was good, the wines delicious; and the poet having freely partaken of both, began to nod, for want of enlivening conversation. When the hour came for the bishop’s going to church, he shook Malherbe by the arm, and said, It is time to start, Malherbe:―you know I am to preach this evening. Ah, my lord, said the poet, be so good as to excuse me, for I can sleep very well where I am.
716. A curate of great learning and merit, but without any prospect of preferment, found an opportunity of preaching before Bishop Hough, who was so well pleased with his discourse and manner of delivery, that after service he sent his compliments to him, desiring to know his name, and where his living was. My duty to his lordship, replied the clergyman, and tell him my name is Lewis; that living I have none; but my starving is in Wales. The bishop soon after presented him to a valuable benefice.
717. King John being shewn a stately monument erected over the grave of a nobleman who had rebelled against him, and being advised to deface it, answered, No, no, I wish all my enemies were as honourably buried.
718. One day James the Second, in the middle of his courtiers, made use of this assertion: I never knew a modest man make his way at court. To this observation one of the gentlemen present boldly replied: And please your majesty, whose fault is that? The king remained silent.