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Another Comrade—Things as I found Them—Taking Photographs—I introduce Père de N—— —Penitent Natives—I witness a Native Domestic Scene
AFTER the passing of Odysseus I met another good comrade, B——. He proved an estimable pal, and was of Scottish descent, consequently his mental equipment was valuable and enabled him to discern an intelligent joke, and laugh, if somewhat sadly, over English humour.
The absence of ordinary humour in the Scots is proverbial; but let me maintain that this proverbialness originated in England. The English, being unable to see through any joke other than their own, or a joke that had its point in the discomfiture of another, at once accuse the breezy, pithy Scot of lack of humour. The calumnies of my countrymen have misled me more than once. From my earliest recollection I can recall the old saying: “As mean as a Jew.” One can imagine my astonishment when travelling across the desolate, far-off spaces of the world, penniless and starving, I found my countrymen firing guns at me—whereas the Jews rushed to my assistance, and of all hosts proved the most courteous, gentle and generous.
I also found that the Japanese, Chinese and Kafirs were the cleanest livers, both in their persons, morals and domesticity. I discovered the French to be stoical, taking their pleasures sadly, phlegmatic and fearless. The Italians were mostly unmusical, the reverse of vindictive, and hated olives. The Germans I’ve met envied all that was British, sang old English melodies and vomited at the sight of sausages! I found the Irish somewhat humourless, but steadfast in friendship and good peacemakers during troublous times! I have lived with Turks and Armenians and found them deeply religious, clean in their mode of living and general outlook on life. As for the Greeks, those descendants of blind old Homer, I found them positively without any musical ear at all, unpoetic and even devoid of the simple love of Art that I discerned amongst the natives of Timbuctoo. I found Persians and Indians unphilosophical, exceedingly effeminate, and beyond the long grey beard, wise demeanour and picturesque turban of the Indian seer, I found no trace whatever of poetic ability, nor did I perceive otherwise than a great hatred for Indian curry.