“Hôtel d’Odessa, Spezzia, _Dec_ 20, 1853.
“You write (as I am accustomed to feel) soberly and seriously. But there is this difference between us: you have borne the heavy burden of a long life of labour with noble earnestness and self-denial; I have, on the contrary, only to look back upon great opportunities neglected and fair abilities thrown away, capacity wasted, and a whole life squandered. Yet if it were not for the necessity that has kept me before the world, perhaps I should have sunk down wearied and exhausted long ago: but as the old clown in the circus goes on grinning and grimacing even when the chalk won’t hide his wrinkles, so do I make a show of light-heartedness I have long ceased to feel, or, what is more, to wish for!
“If I had the choice given me I’d rather be forsaken by my creditors than remembered by my friends.
“I am glad you like ‘Carew.’ It was more than pleasant to me to write it. What a strange confession, is it not?--as though saying that when an author came to take pleasure in his own book, he was reduced to the condition of a bear who loved sucking his own paw.
“We have come here to pass the winter, for though intrinsically little cheaper than Florence, as we are all driven to a hotel, we have got rid of horses and stable expenses altogether. Our economy up to this has not done much, but even a little seems to encourage, and I suppose that thrift is one of those remedies that requires to be introduced gradually into the system.
“I scribble a great deal--political hash amongst the rest--but not very profitable, for whatever is done without name is nearly always done without money. ‘Garibaldi,’ however, brought me about £50.
“Don’t bore yourself writing to me; but, if you like, let me write to you. I have plenty--too much--time on my hands, and it is about the last pleasure left me to commune with one who, though he has known me so long, still loves me.
“Charles is working hard away at his new trade, and likes it. His masters, the Messrs Sandell, have built a large foundry, and make all the materials of the rail.”
“Casa Capponi, Florence, _Jan._ 23, 1854.
“I am fully aware how difficult--impossible I might say--it is to obtain any reply to any demand from M’Glashan, and am therefore not impatient on that score. Besides that, from his repeated remonstrances and complaints about ‘Carew’ lately, I am more than disenchanted to renew my connection with him.