“And when they asked her why the ’el she wore it, Oh, she wore it for her lover who was far, far away.” Now for the chorus: “Far away, far away, oh, she wore it, etc.”
They arrived home late from the party. Wife took off her hat and slammed it on the floor. Then she confronted her hubby.
“I’ll never take you to another party as long as I live!” she said.
“You asked Mrs. Jones how her husband has been standing the heat.”
“Well, her husband has been dead two months.”
Father and son were licking up moonshine.
“Father,” asked the son, “how am I to know when I’m drunk?”
The old man pointed across the street. “When those two men over there look like four,” he responded.
“But father,” interrupted the son, “I see only one man there.”
Lion Tamer—“Step into the cage with the lion, Rastus, and let the photographer focus you.”
Rastus—“He’d better focus me before ah goes in there, boss, for he ain’t gwine hab no time to focus me when ah comes out.”
Actors are the bunk. I heard one in Minneapolis knocking St. Paul and I applauded him, and I saw the same actor in St. Paul knocking Minneapolis and I gave him the razzberry.
“I’ve got you at last,” he cried, “move if you dare, move! It’s taken me many years, but at last I’ve got you where I want you! Now I dare you to move!”
“Yep, you’re right,” replied his friend, “it’s the first game of checkers you ever did win from me.”
=_Dear Capt. Billy_=—If your pedigreed bull is a thoroughbred, why not have him registered?—=_Simon Simple._=
No use to register him; he couldn’t vote anyway.
=_Dear Capt. Billy_=—My wife is getting too strenuous. The other day she broke a plate over my head. What would you advise me to do?—=_Nyce Boise._=
=_Dear Capt. Bill_=—Please define love?—=_Amorous Annabelle._=
Love is the psychology of youth; the subtle sympathy that blends the world into a thing of joy and pleasure unrestrained.
=_Dear Bill_=—Is “The Eternal Triangle” a play or a book?—=_Innocent Imogene._=
It’s a heart-throbbing and soul-stirring play, Imogene, in which all humans have at some time or other enacted a leading part—Adam and Eve excepted. In fact I feel certain that neither Adam or Eve ever “Cribbed” in the University of Paradise with its rapturous courses of enchantment. There’s a reason.
