"I will help you. When you begin to grow angry, shut your lips close together; then, look for me before you answer."
"As soon as you do think, come straight to me, and tell me that you were getting angry. If I see you, and can catch your eye, I will lift my finger in warning; or I will call your name. Will you heed me?"
"Go get your breakfast, and then go about your work."
Many a time after that, when I saw her face growing pale with anger, I have called her name, and lifted my finger. She would recognize the signal, drop upon a bench, or the bare brick floor, bury her face in her hands for a few moments, then arise and go about her work without speaking a word.
Once, about a week after that locking up, she got into an altercation with the slide woman. I was in the prison; but I heard her voice, and ran to the kitchen door.
"Annie!" I called. She did not heed me, but went on with her dispute. "Annie, remember!" I whispered in her ear as I caught her arm.
She jerked it away from me. I looked her steadily in the eye. She dropped hers. She was wavering between the disposition to obey, and the desire to indulge her temper.
"There is the Dr.'s whistle, Annie. Run to the wash-room, and tell Mrs. Martin he is coming!"
She ran out quickly; but when she came back, she walked slowly, looking down to her feet. She came up to me and asked:--
"Why didn't you get me punished? I almost broke my promise; but I didn't mean to. If you had scolded me, I certainly should."
"I did not get you punished, because I see that you are trying to govern your temper, and I promised to help you. If I were to get angry and scold, of what use would it be for me to reprove you?"
"If you had scolded me then, I should certainly have sauced you, and then I should have been punished. Didn't you send me away on purpose?"
"I thought so; and this shall be the last time I will be so foolish."
"I hope so; but if I am obliged to hold up my finger a great many more times, I shall not be disappointed."
As my orders conflicted, and my work bothered me, I made another effort to find a head manager, or some printed regulations.
When the Deputy came in, on his morning rounds, I asked him,--
"Then why does she not come and teach me to manage my department, and see that I do my duty? I go to you, and you tell me the other matrons know. I go to them, and they tell me so many conflicting things that I am bothered more than helped. Then if I ask some of them one thing, they wish to manage the whole, and come in, and give orders that produce such an effect that I am obliged to give others to countermand them. They give them in such a way, too, that my women are all stirred up, and it takes me a long time to get them settled down again. This morning, one of them told Mrs. Martin that she needn't come in here putting on airs, and giving off orders, when she was no better than the rest of them. I pretended not to hear it, for I really thought she provoked the answer. If there is a Head Matron, she ought to come to my rescue."