THOUGH elegant your form, and smart your dress, Your air, your language, ev'ry warmth express Yet, if a banker, or a financier, With handsome presents happen to appear, At once is blessed the wealthy paramour, While you a year may languish at the door.
THIS heart, inflexible, it seems, gave ground, To money's pow'rful, all-subduing sound; The rock now disappeared--and, in its stead, A lamb was found, quite easy to be led, Who, as a proof, resistance she would wave, A kiss, by way of earnest freely gave. No further would the husband push the dame, Nor be himself a witness of his shame, But straight resumed his form, and to his wife, Cried, O Calista! once my soul and life Calista, whom I fondly cherished long; Calista, whose affection was so strong; Is gold more dear than hearts in union twined? To wash thy guilt, thy blood should be assigned. But still I love thee, spite of evil thought; My death will pay the ills thou'st on me brought.
THE metamorphosis our dame surprised; To give relief her tears but just sufficed; She scarcely spoke; the husband, days remained, Reflecting on the circumstance that pained. Himself a cuckold could he ever make, By mere design a liberty to take? But, horned or not? the question seemed to be, When Neria told him, if from doubts not free, Drink from the cup:--with so much art 'tis made, That, whose'er of cuckoldom 's afraid, Let him but put it to his eager lips If he's a cuckold, out the liquor slips; He naught can swallow; and the whole is thrown About his face or clothes, as oft 's been shown. But should, from out his brow, no horns yet pop-- He drinks the whole, nor spills a single drop.
THE doubt to solve, our husband took a sup, From this famed, formidably, magick cup; Nor did he any of the liquor waste:-- Well, I am safe, said he, my wife is chaste, Though on myself it wholly could depend; But from it what have I to apprehend? Make room, good folks, who leafless branches wear; If you desire those honours I should share. Thus Damon spoke, and to his precious wife A curious sermon preached, it seems, on life.
IF cuckoldom, my friends, such torments give; 'Tis better far 'mong savages to live!
LEST worse should happen, Damon settled spies, Who, o'er his lady watched with Argus' eyes. She turned coquette; restraints the FAIR awake, And only prompt more liberties to take. The silly husband secrets tried to know, And rather seemed to seek the wily foe, Which fear has often rendered fatal round, When otherwise the ill had ne'er been found.