No one that shall ever read this account, will expect that I should be able to describe the horrors of my soul at this terrible vision; I mean, that even while it was a dream, I even dreamed of those horrors; nor is it any more possible to describe the impression that remained upon my mind when I awaked, and found it was but a dream.
I had, alas! no divine knowledge: what I had received by the good instruction of my father was then worn out, by an uninterrupted series, for eight years, of seafaring wickedness, and a constant conversation with none but such as were, like myself, wicked and profane to the last degree. I do not remember that I had, in all that time, one thought that so much as tended either to looking upward towards God, or inward towards a reflection upon my own ways: but a certain stupidity of soul, without desire of good, or consciousness of evil, had entirely overwhelmed me; and I was all that the most hardened, unthinking, wicked creature among our common sailors, can be supposed to be; not having the least sense, either of the fear of God, in danger, or of thankfulness to him, in deliverances.
In the relating what is already past of my story, this will be the more easily believed, when I shall add, that through all the variety of miseries that had to this day befallen me, I never had so much as one thought of its being the hand of God, or that it was a just punishment for my sin; either my rebellious behaviour against my father, or my present sins, which were great; or even as a punishment for the general course of my wicked life. When I was on the desperate expedition on the desert shores of Africa, I never had so much as one thought of what would become of me; or one wish to God to direct me whither I should go, or to keep me from the danger which apparently surrounded me, as well from voracious creatures as cruel savages: but I was quite thoughtless of a God or a Providence; acted like a mere brute, from the principles of nature, and by the dictates of common sense only; and indeed hardly that. When I was delivered and taken up at sea by the Portuguese captain, well used, and dealt with justly and honourably, as well as charitably, I had not the least thankfulness in my thoughts. When, again, I was shipwrecked, ruined, and in danger of drowning, on this island, I was as far from remorse, or looking on it as a judgment: I only said to myself often, that I was an unfortunate dog, and born to be always miserable.