TWENTY YEARS LATER—“_Hello! I wonder what Hornbeck wants. Perhaps he’s returning the call I paid him twenty-five years ago._” ]
MR. HORNBECK—“_Mr. Worthy, I’m in hard straits, and unless you help me I’ll have to go to the wall. Just put yourself in my place and you will realize how much your assistance will be appreciated and how much it will mean to me._” ]
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NOW IS THE TIME WHEN THE PROMINENT CITIZEN TELLS THE COLLEGE GRADUATE HOW TO BE SUCCESSFUL
“_Remember, my young friends, that the three essentials to a successful and honorable life are industry, frugality and unswerving honesty._” ]
THE NEXT DAY—“_Send this schedule of my personal property over to the assessors to-day, then telegraph our Louisville branch to undersell that new competitor until we bust him, and then have my automobile at the club at three. If anybody calls, tell them I’ve gone out to the races._” ]
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ILLUSTRATING THAT IDEALS ARE SUBJECT TO RADICAL CHANGES
AT FIFTEEN YEARS OF AGE—“_No, Willie, the man I shall marry must be tall and handsome, with beautiful soft eyes and a soulful temperament._” ]
AT TWENTY—“_No, Alfred, the man I shall marry must have great influence and a high position in the world._” ]
AT THIRTY—_To Mr. Scadsworth, President of the bank: “No, the man I shall marry must be big and powerful—a man born to command—a man of imposing appearance.”_ ]
AT FORTY—“_Man wanted,—must be white._” ]
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ILLUSTRATING THAT NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU HAVE, YOU WANT SOMETHING THAT SOMEBODY ELSE HAS
SAM ALEXANDER—“_By jing, if I was fixed as well as Curt Hawkins, I’d be just about satisfied; 240 acres of good land, all tiled and unencumbered, a hundred head of cattle, a likely bunch of shoats, money in the bank, to say nothing of as nice a wife as ever put on a wedding-ring._” ]
CURT HAWKINS—“_Now, that’s the way I hope to be fixed some day. Colonel Porter’s worth at least a million, goes abroad every summer, has a couple fine residences, and the handsomest wife in the county._” ]
COLONEL PORTER—“_I wish we were as well fixed as Lycurgus Scadsworth. There he goes out to his yacht with a bunch of royalty, and they don’t know we’re on earth. Great Scott! I envy that man._” ]