ACT I. SCENE I.
SCENE, Peachum's House.
Peachum sitting at a Table with a large Book of Accounts before him.
AIR I. An old Woman clothed in Gray, &c.
Through all the Employments of Life
Each Neighbour abuses his Brother; Whore and Rogue they call Husband and Wife: All Professions be-rogue one another: The Priest calls the Lawyer a Cheat, The Lawyer be-knaves the Divine: And the Statesman, because he's so great, Thinks his Trade as honest as mine.
A Lawyer is an honest Employment, so is mine. Like me too he acts in
a double Capacity, both against Rogues and for 'em; for 'tis but
fitting that we should protect and encourage Cheats, since we live by
them.
[Enter Filch.]
FILCH. Sir, Black Moll hath sent word her Trial comes on in the
Afternoon, and she hopes you will order Matters so as to bring her
off.
PEACHUM. As the Wench is very active and industrious, you may
satisfy her that I'll soften the Evidence.
FILCH. Tom Gagg, Sir, is found guilty.
PEACHUM. A lazy Dog! When I took him the time before, I told him
what he would come to if he did not mend his Hand. This is Death
without Reprieve. I may venture to Book him [writes.] For Tom Gagg, forty Pounds. Let Betty Sly know that I'll save her from Transportation, for I can get more by her staying in England.
FILCH. Betty hath brought more Goods into our Lock to-year than any
five of the Gang; and in truth, 'tis a pity to lose so good a
Customer.
PEACHUM. If none of the Gang take her off, she may, in the common
course of Business, live a Twelve-month longer. I love to let Women
scape. A good Sportsman always lets the Hen Partridges fly, because
the Breed of the Game depends upon them. Besides, here the Law
allows us no Reward; there is nothing to be got by the Death of
Women--except our Wives.
FILCH. Without dispute, she is a fine Woman! 'Twas to her I was
obliged for my Education, and (to say a bold Word) she hath trained
up more young Fellows to the Business than the Gaming table.
PEACHUM. Truly, Filch, thy Observation is right. We and the
Surgeons are more beholden to Women than all the Professions besides.
AIR II. The bonny gray-ey'd Morn, &c.
FILCH. 'Tis Woman that seduces all Mankind, By her we first were taught the wheedling Arts: Her very Eyes can cheat; when most she's kind, She tricks us of our Money with our Hearts. For her, like Wolves by Night we roam for Prey, And practise ev'ry Fraud to bribe her Charms; For Suits of Love, like Law, are won by Pay, And Beauty must be fee'd into our Arms.
PEACHUM. But make haste to Newgate, Boy, and let my Friends know
what I intend; for I love to make them easy one way or other.
FILCH. When a Gentleman is long kept in suspence, Penitence may
break his Spirit ever after. Besides, Certainty gives a Man a good
Air upon his Trial, and makes him risk another without Fear or
Scruple. But I'll away, for 'tis a Pleasure to be the Messenger of
Comfort to Friends in Affliction.