This iz good advise. I don't kno who waz the auther ov it, if I did, i wud go for rewarding him, either with a sett ov plated ware, or a prize in the art union. No man kould giv better advise, or consolashun; he ought tew hav a 2 story monament, when he dize, with an epitaff on it, founded on fack; he ought tew hav at leaste fifteen hundred little children named after him each year; he ought tew be nussed in men's memorys like a plesant dreme, that afterwards turned out tew be true. He ought to hav his fotograph taken bi evry new sky-lite in the land, he ought tew be sett tew musick, and be sung in conneckshun with the docksaloger; he ought tew be stereotyped, so that nu edishuns could constantly be worked oph tew meet the pressing demand.
"Giv the Devil hiz due." Yung man, this advise was got up for yu. If yu owe the Devil ennything pay him off at onse, and then discharge him, and dont hire him over agin at enny prise. That's what the author ment. Be honest, pay even the devil, if yu owe him, but dont owe him agin. If the proprietor ov this most worthy proverb, "Giv the devil hiz due," still lives, altho i haint had the pleasure ov an introducksion tew him, if he ever wants enny thing, _even good advise_, he kan git it in awl natiff purity and innersense, bi dropping a line tu his everlasting well wisher.
Mi dearly beloved christian friend, did yu ever visit enny body? Did yu ever visit enny boddy who resided in the subburbs? Did yu ever visit enny boddy who resided in the subburbs, and kept a grate lank, watery-eyed, yeller dog, with very long hare on hiz bak?--Did yu ever hav this grate lank, yeller-devil dog cum loping down tu the frunt gate, tu welcum yu with a hiena yowl, and with the long hare on hiz bak pitching forward az tho it wud cum out bi the rutes, and his tale awl swelled up like a settin hen's? Kan yu rekolek the horrid fear that seized upon yu, and froze yu fast tu the arth, az the monster foamed in rage around yu? Yu gaze in agny tords the hous--it seems 3 weeks at least. At last the frunt door kautiously opens--yure lady friend recognizes yu: "Bless me! Mrs. Bingler, how glad i am tew cee yu! dew cum rite in. How pale the walk has made yu! Tiger! Tiger! hush yu! He is onla glad tew cee yu. Dew cum rite in, Mrs. Bingler." Mrs. Bingler, let me ask yu a question, privately: "Dew yu kandidly think that the luv yu bare for yure lady friend, Mrs. Baremore, who livs in the subberbs, iz enny kind ov atonement for the hate and horror that yu will alwus hav for the grate lank, watery-eyed, yeller dog Tiger that she keeps tew welcum her visitors with? If yu dew, please address, postage paid, JOSH BILLINGS, BOX 467, Pokeepsie sitty."