“What inspections?” he wanted to know. Which convinced me that he is dumber than I am.

“Why—don’t you have some kind of physical exam every few weeks?” I insisted.

A Maid and a Million Men — Part 28

I was really surprised that he could laugh at such a thing, but he did. He thought it was a huge joke and kept on smiling about it even after he told me that there was nothing to worry about from that quarter as they had just had one of those intimate inspections two days before. I was very much relieved—and the idea is rather funny, at that, when you stop to think of it: just imagine me standing in line with a bunch of men and stepping up to let a doctor look me over! And imagine the look on the doctor’s face when he saw before him a woman instead of a man! I guess Leon has a sense of humor after all.

A Maid and a Million Men — Part 28

Anyway, we went out to the car then and left the camp, driving way over to the other side of town to find a little barber shop where no one’s suspicions might be aroused. I went in, and I admit that I felt rather foolish for a moment. But there was only one barber there and he was an Italian that could only understand English when it was accompanied by very clear gestures. And I told him I had had typhoid fever and therefore wanted my hair cut short like a boy’s.

A Maid and a Million Men — Part 28

He was dumfounded, and acted as if he wouldn’t believe me, so I plopped into the chair and explained with my hands just how I wanted it cut, so it would resemble Leon’s as much as possible. Leon, being poetic, never had his hair cut awfully short anyway, so it really didn’t seem so strange.

From there we went to a hotel, Leon driving while I tried to make my hat and the collar of my coat combine to offset the odd effect of the haircut. Just as we were getting out of the car, another hitch presented itself to my mind, and I said to Leon, “We can’t change clothes in there!”

“Why not?” he demanded, his voice sounding as if I had scared the life out of him.

“Now, wouldn’t it look funny to anyone who noticed us going in—a man and a girl—and then saw two men come out? If there happened to be anyone about who recognizes you, he’d smell a mouse immediately.”

I can see now that my fears were practically groundless, but at the time it seemed as if someone would appear at any moment to divine our purpose, and Leon finally agreed that perhaps we’d better make our quick change somewhere else. “But where?”