With as much dignity as possible the lawyer picked himself up, righted the chair, and sat down again. He was mad, and longed to turn his sharp tongue upon the cause of the disaster. But he was shrewd enough to control his temper, and pretend to make light of the mishap. He would get more than even in due time. But the end of his nose was smarting painfully, and he could not keep his fingers away from the injured member.
Abner was at first surprised at the lawyer’s sudden collapse. Then a smile lightened his face.
"Cut up sich capers. Regular mornin’ exercise, I s’pose."
"Certainly not. Do you think I’m accustomed to having a hot cigar dashed into my nose every morning?"
"Well, it’s not altogether likely, oh, no. But judgin’ by the color of ye’r nose I’d say it’s been affected by somethin’ more fiery than a hot ten-cent cigar."
"Ye do, eh?" The lawyer was visibly irritated now.
"I sure do. But that was an inward application, while mine was outward. It was merely a touch of Abner Andrews, of Ash Pint, an’ when an’ where he touches there’s ginerally somethin’ doin’ which ain’t allus pleasant to the feelin’s, either."
"I hope your touch is not always as hot as the one you just applied to my nose, anyway," the lawyer replied.
"Oh, it’s a dam sight hotter sometimes, let me tell ye that, ’specially when there’s somethin’ crooked afoot."
"What am I drivin’ at? Why, at that Orphan Home affair. It jist twists me all to pieces when I think of Hen Whittles wantin’ one thousand dollars fer that dump of his, an’ him one of the richest men in Glucom, at that."
"But surely you don’t expect him to give it for nothing, do you?" the lawyer queried.
"An’ why not? It’s worth nuthin’, an’ what’s more, Hen Whittles should be fined fer keepin’ sich a disgraceful place so near town. Every time I drive past that spot I have to hold me nose, the smell is so bad. An’ sich a mess of stuff! Tin cans, dead cats an’ dogs, an’ every blamed thing that isn’t of any use is dumped there. It’d take more’n a thousand dollars to clean it up. The Board of Health should git after Hen an’ make him squirm like an angle-worm on a hook."
"But what are we going to do about it?" the lawyer asked, now greatly annoyed.
"Do about it?" Abner roared, rising to his feet. "Why, git a decent place, of course. There’s lots of land in town fer that Home without puttin’ it on top of a stinkin’ dump."