A water consumer in Los Angeles, California, whose supply had been turned off because he wouldn't pay, wrote to the department as follows:
"In the matter of shutting off the water on unpaid bills, your company is fast becoming a regular crystallized Russian bureaucracy, running in a groove and deaf to the appeals of reform. There is no use of your trying to impugn the verity of this indictment by shaking your official heads in the teeth of your own deeds.
"If you will persist in this kind of thing, a widespread conflagration of the populace will be so imminent that it will require only a spark to let loose the dogs of war in our midst. Will you persist in hurling the corner stone of our personal liberty to your wolfish hounds of collectors, thirsting for its blood? If you persist, the first thing you know you will have the chariot of a justly indignant revolution rolling along in our midst and gnashing its teeth as it rolls.
"If your rascally collectors are permitted to continue coming to our doors with unblushing footsteps, with cloaks of hypocritical compunction in their mouths, and compel payment from your patrons, this policy will result in cutting the wool off the sheep that lays the golden egg, until you have pumped it dry--and then farewell, a long farewell, to our vaunted prosperity."
"He was getting shaved by a lady barber when a mouse ran across the floor."--_Life_.
PAW--"The middle class consists of people who are not poor enough to accept charity and not rich enough to donate anything."
Murphy was a new recruit in the cavalry. He could not ride at all, and by ill luck was given one of the most vicious horses in the troop.
"Remember," said the sergeant, "no one is allowed to dismount without orders."
Murphy was no sooner in the saddle than he was thrown to the ground.
"Murphy!" yelled the sergeant, when he discovered him lying breathless on the ground, "you dismounted!"
"How dare you come on parade," exclaimed an Irish sergeant to a recruit, "before a respictible man loike mysilf smothered from head to foot in graise an' poipe clay? Tell me now--answer me when I spake to yez!"
The recruit was about to excuse himself for his condition when the sergeant stopped him.