"I have no doubt that I was much to blame for that poor girl's act," I continued. "The question only is, has my punishment been enough, or can it be enough? Do you forgive me? We all make mistakes. Am I good enough for you, Ellen? answer me."
But she would not yet answer. So I went on.
"I killed Gordon Orme myself, in fair fight; but he wrote this of his own free will. He himself told me it would be proof. Is it proof?"
She put the paper gently to one side of her on the long seat. "I do not need it," she said. "If it came to question of proof, we have learned much of these matters, my father and I, since we last met you. But I have never needed it; not even that night we said good-by. Ah! how I wanted you back after you had gone!"
"And your father?" I asked of her, my hand falling on hers.
"He knows as much as I. Lately he has heard from your friend, Doctor Bond--we have both learned a great many things. We are sorry. I am sorry. I have _always_ been sorry."
She put out her hands in a sort of terror. "Don't," she said. "I have put all this away for so long that now--I can't begin again. I can't! I can't! I am afraid. Do not ask me. Do not. No--no!"
She started from the seat as though she would have fled in a swift panic. But now I caught her.
"Stop!" I exclaimed, rage in all my heart. "I've been a fool long enough, and now I will have no more of foolishness. I will try no more to figure niceties. I'll not try to understand a woman. But gentleman or not, I swear by God! if we were alone again, we two, out there--then I'd not use you the same the second time whatever you said, or asked, or pleaded, or argued, I would not listen--not a word would I listen to--you should do as I said, as I desired. And I say now you _must_, you _shall_!"
Anger may have been in my face--I do not know. I crushed her back into the seat.
And she--Ellen--the girl I had seen and loved in the desert silences?
She sank back against the rail with a little sigh as of content, a little smile as of a child caught in mischief and barred from escape. Oh, though I lived a thousand years, never would I say I understood a woman!
"Now we will end all this," I said, frowning. I caught her by the arm and led her to the gallery, where I picked up the bag I had left at the driveway. I myself rang at the door, not allowing her to lead me in. The orderly came.