The fourth meeting occurred in a cafe, and he of the soprano voice waltzed up to the disgusted actor’s table.
“Do you know,” he said, “we have met three times and you weally haven’t noticed me?” Then with a sibilant lisp in a high C that nobody in the cafe could miss, he gave the actor three little dabs on the shoulder and squeaked, “Proudie! Proudie! Proudie!”
One day an inspector of a New York tenement house found four families living in one room, chalk lines having been drawn in such a manner as to mark out a quarter for each family.
“How do you get along here?” inquired the inspector.
“Very well,” was the reply. “Only the man in the farthest corner keeps boarders.”
Some kind-hearted man of money moves the motion that Manhattan’s mackerel munching macaroons be deported to Waikiki Beach to indulge in the popular Hawaiian pastime of poi-eating.
“Mine is a sad case, Lady,” said the solemn visaged inmate of the asylum to the visitor.
“My parents fed me Gripe nuts; made me sleep up in the garret among the rats, in a ‘buggy’ bed and beneath a crazy quilt. My only pet was a squirrel, and my only toys, the wheels from a cuckoo clock.”
And striking a Napoleonic attitude, he strode out in search of Josephine.
Some people are so dry that talking to them is like chewing a blotter.
The Meanest Man bought his bride a nickel’s worth of candy as a wedding present, then took her on a trolley ride honeymoon.
After they got off the car he said, “Let’s save some of that candy for the children.”
He got on at Park and sat in the last car.
She got on at Park and sat in the last car.
When he went over the bridge he smiled. She laughed aloud. At Kendall she crossed her legs. He crossed his fingers. At Central he had her phone number. She had his watch. When they reached Harvard he offered to take her home. He kissed on the front porch. Then he went back to Ridgely Annex and cut one more notch in his shoe trees.
“I guess it’s my personality,” he thought as he tumbled into bed.
“I guess it’s my smile,” she thought as she tumbled into bed.
“Marie is so modest she puts her pet dog out of the room while she is changing her gown!”
There are two classes of people: those who sit and think, and those who sit.
Preacher—Rastus, do yo’ take dis here woman for better or for worse?