The next letter is of another kind, and is not a bad effort for a schoolboy:--
"Not having received the live bullfinch mentioned by you as having arrived at the Returned-letter office two days ago, having been posted as a letter contrary to the regulations of the postal system, I now write to ask you to have the bird fed and forwarded at once to ----; and to apply for all fines and expenses to ----. If this is not done and I do not receive the bird before the end of the week, I shall write to the Postmaster-General, who is a very intimate friend of my father's, and ask him to see that measures are taken against you for neglect. This is not an idle threat, so you will oblige by following the above instructions."
In the rules laid down by the Post-office for the guidance of its officers and the information of the public, an endeavour is made to use plain language; but in any case of doubtful meaning, the Post-office, having framed the rules, claims the right of interpreting them. At one time an element in the definition of a newspaper, under the newspaper post, was that it should consist of a sheet or sheets _unstitched_. A newspaper having been taxed a penny, owing to the sheets being tied together with thread, the person who sent the newspaper made the following sharp remonstrance:--
"SIR,--I had hoped that the utterly indefensible regulation in reference to which I send a wrapper had been silently abolished. The public is quite unable to understand why stitching is made the _differentia_ of a newspaper and a pamphlet, and I can hardly suppose that the occasional penalty of 1d. can be the motive. If in the printed regulations you would assign a sufficient motive, no one would of course object. Allow me to ask, if a piece of string is passed through two holes and the ends not tied in a knot, if that is considered stitching? According to Johnson's definition of stitching my newspaper was not stitched, but tied, _for I used no needle_."
Again, a person having suffered the loss of a letter, containing something of value perhaps, launched a bolt from Scripture at the Department:--
"I got no redress before, but I trust I shall on this occasion; or else there must be something rotten in the State of Denmark. Judas Iscariot was a thief, and carried the bag, and it will be a pity and a great scandal if he has found a successor in some branch of the Post-office."