"Dare yez to answer me when I puts a question to yez?" he cried. "Hould yer lyin' tongue, and open your face at yer peril! Tell me now, what have ye been doin' wid yer uniform an' arms an' bills? Not a word, or I'll clap yez in the guardroom. When I axes yez anything an' yez spakes I'll have yez tried for insolence to yer superior officer, but if yez don't answer when I questions yez, I'll have yez punished for disobedience of orders! So, yez see, I have yez both ways!"
Mistake, error, is the discipline through which we advance.--_Channing_.
To a presence that's much more than queenly, Add a manner that's quite Vere de Vere; You feel like a worm in her sight when she says, "Only $300, my dear!"
Take a boy with bare feet as a starter Add thrift and sobriety, mixed-- Flavor with quarts of religion, And see that the tariff is fixed.
MILLIONAIRE (to a beggar)--"Be off with you this minute!"
BEGGAR--"Look 'ere, mister; the only difference between you and me is that you are makin' your second million, while I am still workin' at my first."
"Now that you have made $50,000,000, I suppose you are going to keep right on for the purpose of trying to get a hundred millions?"
"No, sir. You do me an injustice. I'm going to put in the rest of my time trying to get my conscience into a satisfactory condition."
"When I was a young man," said Mr. Cumrox, "I thought nothing of working twelve or fourteen hours a day."
"Father," replied the young man with sporty clothes, "I wish you wouldn't mention it. Those non-union sentiments are liable to make you unpopular."
No good man ever became suddenly rich.--_Syrus_.
And all to leave what with his toil he won, To that unfeather'd two-legged thing, a son.
Stepping out between the acts at the first production of one of his plays, Bernard Shaw said to the audience:
This startled everybody for the time being, but presently a man in the pit assembled his scattered wits and cried:
Shaw made a curtsey and melted the house with one of his Irish smiles.
"My friend," he said, shrugging his shoulders and indicating the crowd in front, "I quite agree with you, but what are we two against so many?"
There was an old man of Nantucket Who kept all his cash in a bucket; But his daughter, named Nan, Ran away with a man-- And as for the bucket, Nantucket.