To dispatch the python in its distended condition was the work of a moment. I at once released the old man who had been the delighted spectator of my successful cunning. His joy, as may be imagined, was great, but his pride in his son was even greater than his joy. I exacted from him a promise (which, I regret to say, he broke only a few days afterwards) never again to practise the Cabinet Trick. Then, having rung the bell and ordered my servant to carry away the remains of the three beasts, I proceeded to make my preparations for starting without delay in quest of the Pink Hippopotamus.
["The Ladies' Football Club have been defeated--we make haste to add by the weather. They are said to have shown of late a disinclination, with which it is easy to sympathise, to practice in the cold, to say nothing of the mud.... A wit has suggested that football matches should be settled "by arbitration."--_Daily Graphic._]
1. Only the Association game shall be permitted, with the following modifications.
2. Matches shall under no circumstances be played between the months of September and May.
3. The sides shall consist of any number of young ladies (not "new"), good-looking, and well-dressed, to be captained by a good hostess.
4. These are not to run, walk, or scuffle about with, after, or away from, any ball whatever, nor to tumble about under any pretence, nor to perform any evolution which may be calculated to disarrange their toilet.
5. The play shall be conducted by the umpires, who are to be of the male sex.
6. There shall be eleven umpires on each side.
7. In all cases where possible, the match shall be settled without resorting to brute force, or needless waste of time and breath, by appealing immediately before "kick-off" to the arbitration of the referee.
8. The referee shall be the most intelligent and elderly foreign count whose services are obtainable, or, failing that, the least athletic cabinet minister or archbishop in the neighbourhood.
9. The goals shall consist of two large marquees, in which the respective captains, assisted by the other lady-members, shall preside over afternoon tea and ices.
10. In the event of the ball travelling anywhere near the goals, or in any way endangering the tea-things, the referee shall at once stop all further play.