They are like the assetts on a bankrupt broker, the more you examine them, the smaller they grow.

I have known them tew cum out ov a hole like a mice, and grow in tew minnits az big az an elephant, and then run back agin into the same hole they cum out ov.

The Complete Works of Josh Billings — Part 120

They are like a young wild pigeon in their habits, the biggest when they are first born.

The Complete Works of Josh Billings — Part 120

They are common to all countrys and all peoples, the philosophers hav seen them az often az the children hav, and ben as badly skared by them.

The Complete Works of Josh Billings — Part 120

They are az innocent az a rag doll, but are az full ov deviltry az a jack lantern.

Bugg bears are az plenty in this world az pins on the side walks, but noboddy ever sees them but those folks who are alwus hunting for them.

He weighs about 3 pounds and a quarter, more or less, and iz reddy tew fite for a kingdom. He stands up on hiz feet like a piece ov ginger-root, with each feacher fastened in its place.

Hiz eye gleams in its socket like a soltaire on the queen's finger.

Hiz head iz like the snaiks head, and his beak shines like the point ov a dagger.

When he steps, he steps like a bunch ov kat gurt, and hiz crow iz like the yung injuns fust whoop on the warpath. Hiz plumage gives back the sun shine like the ruby and amethist, and hiz legs are all golden.

Hiz gaffs are ov burnt steel, and hiz tail and wing feathers are clipped for the battle.

When cooked they are very good means ov nourishment, in fakt, it will do to call roste duk and apple sass eazy tew contend with.

The duk haz a big foot for the size ov their boddy, but their foot iz not the right kind ov a foot for digging in the garden.

Their foot iz like a small spider's web, only more substanshul bilt.

They are amphipicuss, and kan sale on the water az natral and eazy az a grease spot.

They kan div in the water az handy az a hull frog, and never git water soaked.

Water won't stay quiet on a duk's back no longer than quicksilver will whare it iz down hill.

Duks hav a broad bill which enables them tew eat their food without enny spoon.

They are more proffitable tew keep than a hen, bekauze they kan eat so mutch faster.

Duks are addikted tew a wild state ov natur, but civilizashun haz did sumthing handsum for duks, and made them the companyuns ov man and old wimmin.