“Yes, as an equal perhaps I should,” said Marion scornfully, “but not to be looked upon as occupying a menial position. Why, such people would regard Philip as of no more account socially than a flunky. They like to be entertained, and are willing to let him amuse them, but that is all. I have no doubt that even Lord Ashden thinks him no better than a valet.”
Hard, cruel, false, and unjust words falling from beautiful lips perfect enough to be chosen as an artist’s model, but coming from a heart filled with malice, envy, and dark, unlovely traits. And Philip, shrinking back into the depths of the great chair, beaten down as if by a blow, heard them all.
He found Marion at the table with the others, when he rather tardily answered the summons to dinner, and their meeting was quiet and cool enough. She showed nothing of the cordiality which her sisters felt for him, and his manner to her was as distant and grave as if he were the proud and self-sufficient relative instead of the obscure musician, whose birth and profession were disgraceful in her eyes.
But with all his quiet manner he never, for one half-instant, lost the bitter memory of those terrible words of Marion’s that had crushed his sensitive nature and wounded him more fearfully than if his actual living flesh had been pierced by a barb of steel. In his humility he never once thought of resenting even in thought the unkindness of her speech, or comforted himself with an assurance that her words were cruelly unjust; he simply sank into blank despair at the belief that all his efforts to elevate himself had been in vain, and all his hopes of winning fame and glory by his art the idle fancies of an ignorant dreamer.
Locked in his own room, while the family believed him still at the rehearsal, he had a fierce struggle with himself, and it was only love for dear old Aunt Delia and gratitude to Lord Ashden that helped him to regain composure at last, and not follow his first impulsive determination to fly anywhere, anywhere, off, far, far off, where they never should find him or hear of him again. But self-pleasing had never been his habit, so it came rather more naturally to him than it might to some to conquer his own desires and compel himself to keep the engagements for the public and private concerts, the thought of which had now grown hateful to him.